Sex work is having a moment. For centuries, nay millennia, society has hypocritically craved the services of sex workers while shunning them from their so-called "polite" or "respectable" society. But these attitudes are changing, as sex workers in New York, America, and across the world are demanding to be recognized and treated with dignity, respect, and access to the benefits and rights that all workers should enjoy.
One person at the forefront of this change is Sonia Harcourt. Based in NYC, she has a background in LGBTQ+ activism, and is also a popular AVN and Inked Awards-nominated adult performer. You can find out more about her and links to her work and websites on Twitter (NSFW).
In this interview with Mr NYC, Sonia tells us a little bit about her experiences in sex work and activism, about fighting and overcoming hypocritical attitudes towards sexuality, the differences between sex education and adult entertainment, and, of course, what she loves about NYC.
Tell us a little bit about your background, and what lead you into sex worker activism and the adult business.
I'm a theatre major and music minor, so performing has always been my passion. A good friend of mine works for a non-profit LGBTQ+ organization, and one night over drinks, she gave me the idea...she said 'You're one of the few people I know that doesn't shy away from sex, ever thought about being an activist for sex workers?' I absolutely loved the idea, and opened an Etsy store with sex positive and pro sex work merchandise. Over the coming weeks I made a lot of the same friends in the industry, and was approached by an agent...I had thought about it when I was younger, but I was so insecure. Now, at 30, I thought it was too late, but that agent reaching out made me think it was worth a shot, and here I am.
What are the challenges of being a sex worker, activist, entertainer, and businesswoman all at once?
Oooof, how much time do you have? America is still such a puritanical country, and because of that, we are second class citizens. Extreme violence in almost every aspect of our lives is fine, but God forbid you see a nipple, right? So, on top of being dehumanized on a daily basis, you then also have the "activists" who claim they want to "rescue" us, like we're all just brainwashed little girls...it's insulting. Society wants women to be sexual, but only when it's convenient for them. As soon as we own our sexuality, as soon as we enjoy it, as soon as we're not ashamed of it, then we're "whores/dirty/sluts/etc. etc. etc." From a business standpoint, you constantly have people telling you "get a real job/it's easy work/you suck dick for a living/you just lay on your back all day", but what they are completely missing is that it is quite an accomplishment to make a living selling a product most people think should be free.
What are the best and worst experiences you've had in this business? What's the wildest thing you've done or seen?
I honestly don't like even answering the "worst/bad/etc" question because that narrative is so overdone- that's what makes people want to "rescue" us...are there shitty people in this industry? Sure, but there's shitty people in every industry. Have my boundaries been disrespected before? Yes, but they were in my many years of retail work too. I prefer to talk about the good experiences- there's not any one particular, it's more the good people in this industry. I have met some of the most generous, loving, genuine people here; people who would give you the shirt off their back if it was all they had, to help you. Maybe it's because we're all shit on by the rest of society, but there is truly an incredible love between performers.
Have you seen Boogie Nights or watched The Deuce? Do you think you would have enjoyed working during the "Golden Age" vs. today's industry -- or would it have scared you?
I have seen Boogie Nights, but not The Deuce yet. I think part of me would have enjoyed working during the Golden Age, because people still lived like paying for porn was standard. You didn't have to have a laundry list of side hustles just to make ends meet, you didn't have to deal with social media...but on the other hand, it was much harder to get into the industry and stay in. There is more control in performers hands than ever before, thanks to clip sites, fan sites, camping, etc. I probably wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for clip stores and content, being on the East Coast without an agent. So, 6-in-one, half-a-dozen in the other?
In your opinion, how does our society's thinking and attitudes about sex work need to change or mature?
People need to get over the fact that some people enjoy sex and are not ashamed of it. Live and let live. As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no one is being hurt, it's no one else business. People also need to take some responsibility for themselves and their children; it is NOT my job to teach your child about sex. Pornography is called Adult ENTERTAINMENT for a reason- it is not education. Would you let your kid drive after watching The Fast and the Furious? Of course not, but people are too chicken shit to talk about sex, so they make it our responsibility, and then scapegoat us. There is so much that happens off screen; showing STD tests, discussing do's and don'ts, cutting to add more lube, fixing makeup....it's not meant to be 'real'.
What are your hopes for your career in 2019 and beyond? What do you think the future holds?
I would love to be challenged more as a performer, to do some heavy scripts and more parodies. I am also extremely excited to see that bisexual porn is finally getting it's day, and I would love to continue to be a big player in that genre. Without an agent and being on the East Coast, the career is moving in the right direction, just a little slower than I would like, so I have to remind myself to be patient.
Finally, you're a New Yorker: why do you live in NYC and what do you love most about it?
I grew up in central NY, but have lived in the city for about 14 years...it's a bit of a love/hate relationship, as it can be an incredibly stressful and fast paced, but the city is so alive. There's always something to do/see/explore....you can do anything and be anything you want here.
Thanks Sonia! Best of luck to you!