District NYC

The physical, political, and societal composition of New York City is complex. Its geography encompasses over forty islands and part of mainland America. It contains five boroughs that are spread over five counties in New York State. And imposed upon this huge mass are over 300 neighborhoods, from Far Rockaway to Chelsea, from Bayside to Red Hook, from Riverdale to New Dorp, it's quite a jumble.

But wait -- there's more! If you've familiar with this city, specifically Manhattan, you've probably heard of various "districts", mostly areas centered around certain kinds of businesses. You probably have a rough idea of where they are but didn't want to admit you didn't know exactly what blocks they lay on. These districts were hotbeds of economic activity back in the days when NYC was more of a manufacturing town. Today, some of these districts endure while others exist mostly in name only. So here is my short little guide to these districts and where to find them.

The Diamond District: West 47th street, between 5th and 6th avenues. This is still as bustling and busy an area as it was fifty years ago.

The Silk-Stocking District: Better known as the Upper East Side, stretches from 59th to 110th streets, east of Central Park. While it used to be home to the richest zip codes in the world, neighborhoods like Tribeca and Soho have surpassed it in wealth -- although it still retains Old New York charm.

The Meatpacking District: Runs from West 14th street to Gansevoort Street. Today it's better known for being the place where lots of bars and nighclubs are in residence but there still are one or two meat packers still plying their trade.

The Flower District: West 28th street between 6th and 7th avenues. It used to be much bigger and has been basically reduced to one little block. But if you go there during the day, you will be struck by one of the most unlikely and beautiful sights in the city -- a greenhouse in the street.

The Financial District: Yes, it's still there. Goes from City Hall Park to Battery Park. You know what goes on there.

I'm sure there are some other districts that I'm forgetting but these are the most famous ones. If you know of any other districts within this city, please let me know!

NYS Senator Diane Savino speaks on the Marriage Equality bill

She also makes some great points here that I've also made in support of "gay marriage" (I hate the term "gay marriage" actually -- it's really civil rights). She says that people are absolutely right to be concerned about the state of marriage in this country but that it's not gay people who are a threat to it. It's we heterosexual people who have turned marriage into a laughingstock and are doing our best to destory it.

Our divorce rate is egregiously high. So are our levels of spousal abuse. We have a "wedding industrial complex" that hijacks the meaning of marriage, making it more about that "one special day" rather than the planning of a life together. On TV, there are these repulsive reality shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette where pathetic men and women who no one wants to marry make fools of themselves in order to "snag" a spouse. And these are the people who have the right to marry!

As Senator Savino says here, if we looked at the quality of the most couples applying for marriage licenses, 75% of them would be turned down.

How are gay people a threat to this? How does letting them marry "redefine" or "destroy" marriage? I just got married this year, and I don't think a couple of gay people getting married threatens my marriage or redefines or in any way imperils the sanctity of this institution I entered into.

Do you know who is a threat to the institution of marriage? David Letterman, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, John Ensign, Mark Sanford, and Tiger Woods. We even have websites that cater to men and women who want to cheat on their spouses!

But back to Diane. Her speech was truly a star turn. She has my vote for anything she may ever run for. I'd rather vote for her for president than, oh say, a certain former governor of Alaska. And there are lots of people encouraging her to run for higher office and I sure hope she does.

Go Diane!

What Meets the Eyes

New York is, amongst it's many wonders, a feast for the eyes. Whether it's our amazing skyline or our beautiful parks, whether it's our impressive bridges or interesting streets, NYC is never boring to gaze at (scary, sometimes, weird, often, but never boring).

But what about the things we're not supposed to see -- yet do anyway?

Like graffiti sprayed on the metal gates of stores: graffiti is illegal in this town, it's the defiling of property and community standards. When we see graffiti, we have, in essence, seen evidence of a crime.

And what about voyeurs? In this crowded city, with buildings stacked close to one another, people can look out their windows and see other people in their apartments, their inner sanctums, their designated zones of privacy and respite. When people look into other people's homes in this city, they're being nosy neighbors. And when people stare into other people's homes with binoculars hoping to see people naked, showering, having sex, naked and showering and having sex, or perhaps doing something else either sexual or nasty, then they become naughty neighbors -- otherwise known as voyeurs or Peeping Toms.

Considering what a crazy crowded city we live in, it's amazing the whole place isn't sprayed with graffiti and that anyone anywhere has any privacy.

Two articles today look at these dilemmas of that which we see in NYC but should not.

First, an article in the Times about new city council rule forbidding the use of metal gates on stores precisely because they are graffiti magnets. The city council has ruled that from now on stores must have open weave gates, gates with spaces in them that will hopefully deter graffiti artists and other such miscreants.

Second, a column by a young woman recently arrived in our fair city. She describes what it was like stepping out of the shower one day only to see her neighbor (someone Archie Bunker might call a "prevert") ogling her lithe young dripping person and about how she totally freaked.

Both stories got me thinking: we see so much stuff in this city everyday, our eyes are bombarded with so much visual data each millisecond, what-oh-what are we to make of those very few things we shouldn't see but do anyway? Granted there's a HUGE difference between looking at (even admiring creative) graffiti and intentionally staring at a naked neighbor. Still, they got me wondering: how much of what we see every day in NYC is meant for our eyes and how much of it is accidental or perhaps unintended? Who knows? It's just another one of the endlessly interesting things about living in NYC.

But then again, as a character in Woody Allen's Crimes and Misdemeanors said "The eyes of God are on us always." So don't try to hide!

A Disgraceful Day in New York

Today the New York State Senate continued to show why it is the most disgraceful, loathsome legislative body in the world. Today 38 state senators, these so-called representatives of the people, voted to deny all men and women equal rights under the law. Today they voted against same-sex marriage, further creating a gay apartheid not only in this state but in the country.

It's an outrage. The most despicable legislative act since the city council extended term limits last year. These 38 horrible people voted to discriminate against men and women and continue their existence as second class citizens. Evil.

There are NO good arguments against gay marriage. The only arguments I've heard are ones based in bigotry, hatred, and religious intolerance. When I hear arguments like “the world belongs to the Almighty, and they have to reckon with his rules and his law” from some nut-job Rabbi, I can't take these prick seriously. And these same people wail that they're not bigots, it's mean to call them bigots!

My answer: YES, you are bigots. Anyone who opposes gay marriage is a bigot and not a good person. End of story.

Just heard the columnist Bob Hebert say on TV that it's amazing that this same state senate that is so incompetent that it can get a budget passed had no problem at all when it came to voting against civil rights for all people. It reminds me of the Chris Rock joke that the dumbest people in the world become geniuses when it comes to getting high.

But this is not the end. You can't repress people forever. I remain optimistic that one day the tide will turn and men and women will be allowed to marry the ones they love. Until then I will keep the candle of hope burning.

The One that Gotti Away

Fourth Hung Jury in Gotti Case

John Gotti, Jr. eludes justice once again. Amazing.

Either the government has no case, or is totally incompetent when it comes to prosecuting this case, or the mob is successfully tampering with all these juries, or the jurors are just so freaked out about what might happen to them if they convict the son-of-a-bitch that they keep declaring mistrials, that I don't think he'll ever be found guilty. I can't imagine that the government will go after him again but maybe they will. Can't let Junior think he can evade the law forever. Still, this is becoming the longest-running freak show in NYC and trying him time and again is becoming something of a joke. Hopefully he'll face justice one way or another. Just don't know how long that will be.

Who's Tim Keller?

There's an interesting phenomenon in American life that's as old as the republic itself: the mega-preacher. The Man of God as celebrity. The superstar of faith. The be-attitude with attitude. The light mocking the darkness. The Voice ...

From John Brown, Father Coughlin, and Billy Graham to the likes of Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker to Rick Warren and Joel Osteen, our most famous preachers know how to move a crowd, whip up a religious fervor, and bring us closer to Him. There's always been a political element to these folks too, and lately most of these mega-preachers have become associated with what's called the Religious Right. But they're not just political. Most of these guys are self-help gurus, and people look to them for "answers." They try to help people navigate this harsh, mean world and make sense of the senseless.

And they build HUGE churches, stadiums really, where literally THOUSANDS of people flock each week like it's a football game. It's really mind-blowing.

Most New Yorkers assume this is a scene to be found in the South or the Sun Belt -- and that's mostly true. But what if you heard that such a scene exists right here in NYC? And perhaps most shockingly, it's to be found in the beating heart, the ground zero, the epicenter, the very headquarters of the liberal elite?

'Tis true. Yes, you heard me right -- Sarah Palin has a friend on the Upper West Side.

Meet Tim Keller. For the last twenty years, he's been preaching his stern, conservative version of the Gospel at Redeemer Presbytarian Church. And he's got an enormous following of New Yorkers who come to hear him preach every week. He's so popular that he has to have multiple services every day to accommodate everybody. Forget Cardinal Dolan or Reverend Al or even Rabbi Shmuli or whatever his name is-- Tim Keller is the Voice of NYC.

You must read this fascinating article about him in this week's New York magazine. Who knew a guy like this existed or was so popular in this town?

What's amazing about Keller is that his "hook", the thing that gives him such a following is that he preaches less about social issues and more about what he sees as the sins of over-achievment -- mainly that people strive to be overachievers because they desperately want to fill up the emptiness of their souls. It's an interesting idea and, in these tough economic times, needless to say, many people are questioning the ethos of unbridled capitalism, of greed, or more more more ... stuff. It's an interesting article, and he's an interesting guy, so I suggest you read it and come to your own conclusions.

$174

For the last month the chattering classes have been clacking their collective teeth, wondering just how much money Mayor Bloomberg spent on his re-election.

Now we know. The numbers are in: $102 million. For a total of roughly 550,000 votes, that comes out to $174 per vote. In 2001 he spent $99 per vote and in 2001 he spent $112 per vote. So from 2001-2005,he increased his spending by $13 per vote but from 2005-2009 it went up $62 per vote.

62/13=4.77. The difference was almost five times greater in 2009 than 2005. Wow. And since Bloomberg won by only 5 percentage points and spent more than $100 mill to get it, that means he spent $20 million per point. Wow wow.

If Bloomberg had just given each voter $174, imagine what they could have done with it? I know what I would have done with it! For $174 I would:

• Pay our monthly cable/internet bill
• Pay our electric bill for two months
• Pay my cell phone bill for three months (a quarter of a year!)
• Get oysters on the half-shell and a porterhouse for two at a modest-priced steakhouse (without wine)
  
• Buy my wife a beautiful broach or pin or a scarf from the Met store
• Get some cheap Broadway tickets from Theatermania
• Save it and earn a few pennies from the bank!

Giving each of us voters $174 instead of spending it on stupid attack ads would not only have benefited the economy but also made the lives of us ordinary New York a little more pleasant in these bleak times. But ours is a "political" economy, haha, and so it goes (or should I say, the money goes).

Alice's Restaurant

As much a NYC Thanksgiving tradition as watching the Macy's parade on TV is listening to "Alice's Restaurant" on the radio. Every year at noon on Q104.3, you can hear the complete eighteen minutes of Arlo's Guthrie's classic song/story/anti-war treatise that seems as relevant today as ever. My favorite part of the song, which also coincidentally is what grounds it as a New York story, is the following part:

"They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and he started jumpin' up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Bloomberg III

Speculation is rampant about who may or may not populate Mayor Bloomberg's third and final administration. After eight years of a remarkably stable team, with few departures, it looks like the top echelons of city government are due for a big shake-up.

City Hall News has an ongoing feature about this called Gaming Out The Bloomberg III Cabinet. It has all the rumors and reports of rumors about who might be in, out, or left twisting in the wind.

My big question is this: assuming that most of the people in the administration who have served these last eight years want to stay, why would Bloomberg then get rid of any of them?

After all, wasn't the overturning of term limits and Bloomberg's expensively-acquired third term all about keeping him and the people around him in power -- because they've done such a great job? If he fires a lot of these people, are we really sure he can attract people of similar talent? They'll only have four years on the job, not really enough time to make the kind of big changes that those people in Bloomberg's first two terms had the chance to do. Why would anyone want to be second best? Term-limited from the time they take office? Stepping into such big shoes -- who wants to be in that situation?

Don't be surprised if Bloomberg's new administration is a profile in mediocrity.

We shall see. I hope to be wrong. But I wouldn't be surprised if Bloomberg III is a lot like Godfather III -- a miserable follow-up to two previous triumphs. I've said that overturning term limits was a bad idea precisely because it would lead to all sorts of unintended consequences -- and less than stellar cabinet might be one of them.

Howard Stern - 2009-10-05 - David Letterman Extortion Attempt (Part 1)

I know I'm way behind the ball in posting this but you MUST listen to Howard Stern talk about the David Letterman extortion situation. He makes some very smart remarks about it and I found it all together educational. There are four more clips of this segment so you should check them out on YouTube.

It's sad to see such a New York icon as David Letterman get himself into such a nasty situation where he's being shaken down by the ex-boyfriend of a woman Dave had an extra-marital affair with. You can't imagine Ed Sullivan getting into such a mess. But Howard makes the great point that it's just never a good idea to screw around on the job. Work and nooky don't mix! Still, men are men and when they see some hot young stuff, well ... figure it out. Money, sex, and power is a lethal combo.

Only in New York (and Hollywood ... and Washington, DC).