Memo from NYC

The news roaring around NYC and Hollywood and the interwebs these days is about the fall from grace of Harvey Weinstein, whose companies Miramax and The Weinstein Company produced some of the best movies of the last quarter century. 

Surprise, surprise, it turns out Mr Weinstein is a nasty creep who used his power in the movie business to harass and coerce women into unwanted sexual activity. This has become a familiar pattern as of late: a story breaks about, or a lawsuit is filed against, a rich, famous, and powerful man (like Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, or Bill O'Reilly, etc.) and then more stories surface, and then even more stories surface, about how they used their positions to force women to submit to them (and then paid off or made them sign agreements to stay quiet). These men then lose their careers and become pariahs, and much hand-ringing ensues about why such men were able to thrive and get away with their behavior for so long.

Unless, of course, you're Donald Trump -- then you not only get away with it, you become president.

Wait ... perhaps that explains it!

Perhaps the fact that Trump is president shows us why these other guys got away with it for so long: there's something in American culture that actually approves of this kind of behavior, there's some demon within ourselves that wants this kind of alpha-male, "grab 'em by the ..." mentality to be okay. That's why, in part, men overwhelmingly voted for Trump. They want his kind of gross behavior to be condoned, to be mainstream, and what better way to make predatory behavior seem normal than to make a predator president? 

Let's face it: many men, if they had the money and power of these guys, would be doing the same thing. "Man!" a lot of them think, "If I was them, it'd be broads 24/7!" After all, they wonder, what's the point of money, power, and fame if it can't get you laid? I know men. I am one. This is how a lot of us think: women are a prize to be won or a commodity to be acquired. They're the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Like Tony Montana said in Scarface: "In America, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the wo-man." 

And let's not entirely absolve women from this whole nightmare either. While I don't blame the victims, I also wonder if, sometimes, some women (please let me emphasize only some women) unintentionally contribute to this sick culture of exploitation. After all, there are dating websites for "sugerbabies" looking or "sugardaddies." There are shows like The Bachelor where women literally compete to attract a guy. Oh, and let us not forget this depressing fact: a majority of white women voted for Donald Trump in 2016 even after his notorious "grab 'em tape" was leaked. Trump, a raging narcissistic misogynist pig (among other offenses), is sitting in the Oval Office instead of the first woman president because women put him there! That said, that doesn't let us guys off the hook: men should not tolerate the crap that guys like Weinstein and Trump perpetuate. We have to be as loud against it as any woman, because it reflects on all of us, all men. 

Power is not carte blanch to sexually dominate women -- or anyone. Period. 

Final thoughts: I'm not rich, not famous, never been powerful, and probably never will be. But I've been a working stiff for almost my entire adult life. And it amazes me to see guys, even those who are nowhere near as rich and powerful as the aforementioned villains, hit on and creep on women at work, creating an uncomfortable environment for them and everyone in their place of business.  Guys, listen up: a place of business is not a singles bars, it's not a dating app, it's not frat party, it's not pick up joint -- it's a place where people go to earn a living, advance their careers, and build towards their futures. It's also a place where, let's face it, you're only there to help someone else make money. Wanna score chicks? Do it on your own time, somewhere else. But at work, work, and only use your big head. Or you may wind up like Harvey Weinstein.