Stephanie Selby RIP

Over the years I've blogged about my childhood experiences in the world of professional ballet. Like much of what we might consider "showbiz", it's a rough, grown-up world for a young developing child to intersect with, a place where the innocence and vulnerability of youth smashes up against the brutal realities of an exacting, demanding profession.

So it was with some interest, and much sadness, that I read about the recent death of Stephanie Selby.

She played Marie in "The Nutcracker" at the New York City Ballet in 1976 (you can read her review here) and became the subject of a book that same year called A Very Young Dancer. It was a backstage collection of photographs showing her rehearsing for the famous ballet, a behind-the-scenes "making of" look at the magical production. (Remember, back then, we didn't have reality TV or social media or anything like that so the public rarely saw the behind the curtain of cultural touchstones.) The book became a surprise bestseller, inspired many young women to pursue dance, and Stephanie became a temporary celebrity. 

However, like in my experience, it turned sour when the teenage years arrived. She began to misbehave at the School of American Ballet (the feeder school for the New York City Ballet and where the kids for "The Nutcracker" come from), her dancing suffered, and eventually she was kicked out of the school. Her dreams of being a professional dancer were shattered and, it appears, she never got over it. This dissapointment was also exacerbated by clinical depression.

In her adult years, she migrated to Wyoming and she died there, from suicide apparently, at agae 56. She seems to have had a vagabond life but also had some good people in it and some love. It's a sad ending to her life. But I hope she had some happiness from time to time and that she's at peace now.