Review: "Don't Drink the Water" (1994) & "Die Hard with a Vengeance" (1995) -- Two Mid-1990s NYC Oddities

In the mid-1990s two very different NYC-related movies graced movie and television screens that, looking back, seem truly bizarre that they were ever made. 

The first is a TV movie that aired in December, 1994. It was written and directed by Woody Allen called Don't Drink the Water. It was based on a play that Woody had written and was produced on Broadway in the mid-1960s. It then became a lackluster movie starring, of all people, Jackie Gleason. Woody didn't like the movie version (he had nothing to do with it) so, thirty years later, he directed it for television.

Don't Drink the Water is about a Jewish caterer from New Jersey who is on vacation with his family in an unnamed Communist country in Eastern Europe. The country has been consumed by chaos, so the caterer and his family seek refuge in the American embassy. But things in the embassy are wacky as well, and hilarity ensues. In the meantime, the young American consult running the embassy falls for the caterer's daughter -- and romance ensues. And all the usual Woody humor is there, including lots of jokes about deli foods. 

Woody made this film at a weird time in his life and career. He had just gone through the whole break up scandal with Mia Farrow and his reputation had been dinged -- but he had also just released the great movie Bullets Over Broadway, and was riding high on critical acclaim and strong box office. This TV movie was therefore something of a pastiche, a little side-project. Many Woody fans might know even know it exists. 

Woody stars as the caterer in the film, his wife is played by the always wonderful Julie Kavner, and the daughter is played by Mayim Bialik who was finishing her run on the TV show Blossom. Others in the cast include the great Edward Herrmann (pre-Gilmore Girls) and Dom Deluise but the real surprise is that the American consul is played by Michael J. Fox.

Yes, Marty McFly and Alvy Singer were in a movie together.

Fox had been a huge star in the 1980s with the show Family Ties, the Back to the Future movies, and some other notable films. But by the mid-1990s his star seemed to be waning so that's why, presumably, he agreed to do this TV movie with Woody. A couple of years later he starred on the TV show Spin City, cementing a comeback -- and then years later he disclosed a devestating Parkinson's diagnosis. 

It's not a great movie but it's still amazing to realize that there was a time when Woody Allen could actually get a movie made and broadcast on ABC, a big TV network -- and that people would watch it! How times have changed. 

Then, a few months later, Die Hard with a Vengeance hit 1995 summer movie theaters. 

It was the third in the multi-part Die Hard movie series starring Bruce Willis. Where the first one took place in a huge office building in LA, and the second took place at an airport in Washington, DC, this third flick takes place all over Manhattan. Willis's John McClane cop character is at home in NYC this time when things start blowing up around town. A mystery man named Simon contacts McClane and forces him to play a serious of dangerous games around Manhattan in order to prevent future explosions ("Simon says" -- Get it?). It turns out that this is all a distraction so that Simon and his goons can rob the $104 billion dollars in gold that are stored under Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Simon declares that it makes Fort Knox look like something for tourists.

And lots of violence, car chases, shoot-outs and one-liners ensue.

Willis is at his charasmatic best in his film and his side-kick is played by the brilliant Samuel Jackson. They had just starred in the now-classic Pulp Fiction (although shared no scenes together) so they were riding on this juice of that movie. The villian, Simon, is played by Jeremy Irons, and he really hams it up here, a mustache-twirling bad guy. Iron was about four years removed from his Oscar win and although his days as a big movie star were coming to an end.

And the big secret is that we find out he's the brother of Gruber, the villian from the first Die Hard movie played by Allan Rickman. "He was an asshole," both Simon and McClane agree.

The plot and action in this movie are idiotic in the extreme, and the idea of terrorism in NYC seemed much more far-fetched in 1995 than it did six years later. However, it's a real NYC eye-candy movie -- not only do we see great shots of Lower Manhattan, we also go to Harlem, the ports, and even the subway stop at 72nd Street and Broadway. 

Again, getting actors of the caliber of Willis, Jackson and Irons in a movie together that was this wild -- as well as the biggest box office hit of 1995 -- seems crazy today (this movie spelt "big pay day" all over it). And making a movie where NYC gets mostly blown up would not be PC today. Also, I actually remember going to see this movie in theaters right before I went to college -- and then totally forgot about it until now. 

So there's a look back at two movies from 30 years ago that, in today's NYC and entertainment environment, would be unthinkable of getting made today.