Mr NYC in Texas

Twenty years ago a buddy and I took a road trip to Texas (followed by some other places). We drove south from college and, after a couple of days, arrived in this vast, fascinating state.

Texas is big. Real big. Like, crazy "wow" big. 

We drove forever, and forever (sometimes I think we're still driving through it). We drove through towns like San Antonio and Abilene, through small towns made up of nothing but trailer parks (I remember one called Sheffield), and through hundreds of miles of west Texas where there was literally nothing at all except roads -- no trees, no people, no houses, no stores, no civilization at all, nothing for miles and miles and miles and miles but flat land ... until you occasionally hit a much-needed gas station. 

Our destination was Big Bend National Park, and it was worth the drive. This is a massive and stunningly gorgeous place with mountains and canyons and stunning natural landscape after stunning natural landscape. We backpacked through the trails and came upon mountain views that went forever and simply stupefy you with their beauty. We did this for a couple of days, sleeping in a tent, until we took off for Houston en route to New Orleans.

Big Bend is not an easy place to get to -- in fact, it's the least visited national park in the country for precisely this reason -- but I urge you to go if you can, words cannot describe how life-changing it is to be there. It reminds you of how amazing the natural world is, how vast and overwhelming, and how us mere people are simply part of a greater design. You feel a great inner peace being in this gorgeous yet quite space. It's very special. (By the way, Big Bend is also the same place where Supreme Court Justice, and New York-native, Antonin Scalia died in 2016.)

We only spent a night in Houston and I don't remember much about it, we got there at night and left early the next day. We ate a Fudruckers and I had perhaps the biggest cheeseburger ever. However, I do recall we drove briefly around downtown and I saw a huge statue of a cello, a modern art exhibit, that seemed very Texas, very non-NYC.

So the saying is true: everything's bigger in Texas. A lot bigger. And, despite its politics, it's a place worth checking out. 

Oh, and if you want to see the definiate movie about Texas, watch Giant from 1956 starring Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor, as well as James Dean in his last movie and a young Dennis Hopper in one of his first.

Bleecker Street ...

Past and Future. 

Nixon & George Bush: December 31, 1971

Former President George H.W. Bush died this weekend. He was the first president I remember seeing elected and taking office (I was too young to remember the Carter presidency or the early days of Reagan's). Bush was VP and President for most of my childhood, a constant presence, until he was suddenly defeated by Bill Clinton and vanished from public view for a long time. 

Now he's gone for good, and he had a long, incredible life -- a true American story (whatever you thought of him).

Bush lived in NYC in the very early 1970s when he was the UN Ambassador under President Nixon. (He only did the job for two years before being recalled to DC to head the Republican National Committee.) This phone call between the then-current and future presidents from New Year's Eve 1971 is fascinating (it was recorded on the very same taping system that would bring Nixon down 

a few years later but, at this moment, the Watergate break-in hadn't happened yet).

Nixon calls Bush at the ambassador's residence at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in NYC (the same hotel where I spent my wedding night decades later) and wishes him a "happy new year." Bush is overwhelmed by Nixon's thoughtfulness to call. Nixon asks him how he likes "fighting that New York society crowd" and Bush says that he hates the "New York society crowd" and he doesn't like his family living in NYC but that he is "ensconced in royal splendor", a reference to life at the Waldorf.

I wonder if Bush was just saying that to play up to Nixon's well-known resentment of "New York society" i.e. rich liberal Jewish people -- I hope that's the case. Either way, it's fascinating to listen to this moment in history between two momentous historical figures.

Interview: Billy Procida of the The Manwhore Podcast

Sex! Love! Comedy! You'll find all that, and much more, on The Manwhore Podcast with Billy Procida!

More to the point, you'll find an intelligent yet sexy untangling of the complicated emotions, pitfalls, and opportunities of being a sexual creature in 21st century NYC and America. I've never heard anything quite like Manwhore: on the one hand, it's very titillating (i.e. lots of sex talk) but the podcast is also about the emotional and societal complications of sex and dating in a time of social media, #MeToo, and social/economic/political insanity. Billy and his guests obviously love to talk about sex but the show isn't really "pervy" -- it's more existential, asking "who are we as human beings and what does our sex lives tell us about ourselves in this crazy time?"

Billy is an NYC-based comedian and was kind enough to answer a few questions for Mr NYC about his comedy, his life, his podcast, and NYC.

Tell us a little bit about your background and career in comedy. Who are some of your comedy idols and influences? 

I grew up listening to George Carlin and Chris Rock. I stumbled up on Carlin simply by searching 'comedy' on Napster. Whatever files weren't broken became my comedy library. Being as prolific as he was, there were many albums I became acquainted with. With Rock, I thought he was hilarious in Dogma and then discovered his stand-up. I think I had Bigger and Blacker memorized when I was 13. Today, I find myself falling asleep listening to Doug Standhope—which probably explains all the nightmares.

What inspired the creation of the Manwhore podcast? What in your life and career made you decide to do this?

I had this very peculiar problem: women would sleep with me, but they wouldn't date me. So I wanted to find out why. Because I wanted relationships; I wanted love; but anytime I wanted to get more serious, it was always the woman who told me she wanted to keep it casual. This rarely ended things—I was still told to come over and do that thing that I do with my tongue. When it happened for the umpteenth time, I decided to start this podcast where I reconnect with former flames and find out what went wrong. 

Your podcast, while obviously being about sex, seems to also be focused on how sex and fun should be enjoyable without being exploitative or demeaning to anybody. Do you consider yourself and the podcast "woke" or just smart? 

I'm just a comedian with a fuck show. But a lot of people have described me with a variety of adjectives from woke to feminist to problematic. 

You and your guests have done some pretty wild things on your podcast. What's the craziest interview or thing your and guests did? Don't spare us the details!

I had a listener 'blow her way to Brooklyn.' A woman slid into my DMs on Instagram earlier this year. She lived in a nearby city and really wanted to hook up with me. It was late one night and I suggested she find a friend to give her a ride to New York City and how she could "thank" him. Then I thought...what if she 'thanked' a series of drivers all the way to Brooklyn just to hook up with me? Fueled by an overinflated ego, feeling flattered, I pitched her this scene where I would coordinate several rides to driver her different legs of her journey. She was to give a blowjob on each leg to show her thanks. Then she'd get to my door and 'get' to blow me (I personally don't think I'm much of a prize, but hey, whatever gets you going). So we documented it through her solo recordings in-between each driver up until she was standing outside my bedroom door talking about the anticipation of meeting me. We had a super fun night together and the next day recorded a surprisingly intimate and raw episode. Having a hot chick suck some dicks just to suck mine might be the craziest thing I've done on the podcast. 

That's pretty wild! Who are some of your dream podcasts guests that you haven't interviewed yet?

Dan Savage. Charlotte Clymer. Janet Mock. Laci Green. Kevin Smith. Louis C.K. Barack Obama. 

What's been the biggest surprise or thing you've learned -- about life, relationships (and, obviously) sex -- in doing the podcast?

I've learned to listen better—which is difficult when your job is seemingly to talk. But my job is in fact to listen, because this show is nothing without the women from my life. The more I listen, the more they talk. The more they talk, the better the episode. At least in my opinion. The same holds true in dating (and sex). 

How do you think the Trump presidency and ugly political environment has affected sex and relationships? 

Oh god, don't get me started. My sex and my relationships don't really change—I'm a cis straight white guy. I'll be fine. But the lives and relationships of many of my friends and colleagues might change, if they haven't already. I don't want to speak to those changes, because I don't really experience them and others can speak on it better, but it's no surprise that the Trump Administration—as well as the Republican Party, since it's in their 2016 party platform—is anti-queer. If you're a Republican who is openly for LGBT rights, you're a deviation of the party, since the GOP put it in their literal party platform. Explicitly. Trump tweeted a trans military ban. His vice president has attacked queers when he was the Governor of Indiana. Trump even put money back into abstinence only education (even though it's been proven time and again that it does not work). A lot of 'sex-positive' people want to say that they support LGBT people and are sex-positive and all that jazz...but vote Republican (or, ugh, third party). If you were able to and didn't vote in this most recent midterm election—and didn't vote Democrat—I'm willing to say that you are not sex-positive. Full stop. 

What are your thoughts about #MeToo? 

Dude, you gotta tighten this question. I think it's great that women are stepping forward with their stories. I'm glad that it's raised the topic of consent into many people's consciousness, enough that we might try to teach kids comprehensive sex education so they can learn about consent at younger ages. 

What are your hopes of the Manwhore podcast moving forward? 

I'm super excited for ManwhoreCon 2019. We just wrapped up my second annual fanwhore weekend in August, but I'm already so stoked to do it again! Fans are already talking about it in our secret Patreon-only communities. I also want to do more live shows in other cities next year and, of course, some fun episodes. I'm thinking The Pepsi Challenge of Cocksucking. 

Finally, tell us about your life in NYC and what you love about the city. And tell us anything else you'd like us to know! 

I love New York City. I've lived here 11 years and I always feel the magic—even when I spend 95% of the day inside. It's both a historical city and a modern city at the same time—and you can feel that all the time. I feel connected to hundreds of years of stories when walking down a street I know used to house the city's largest orphanage, or sitting in McSorley's Old Ale House, an institution that's had its doors open since Lincoln. My favorite book on New York, Lowlife by Luc Sante, describes this city in the most beautiful way I've ever seen. And I quote it often. "The firmament that is New York is greater than the sum of its constitutent parts. It is a city and it is also a creature, a mentality, a disease, a threat, an electromagnet, a cheap stage set, an accident corride. It is an implausible character, a monstrous vortex of contradictions, an attraction-repulsion mechanism so extreme no one could have made it up." 

Great quote! Thanks Billy! You can find Billy on Twitter @TheBillyProcida and download The Manwhore Podcast on ITunes.

Memo from NYC

Headline: "Trump: I miss New York."

Hey Donnie -- we don't miss you! 

Please don't come back! But, if you do, I hope your new home is:

Metropolitan Correction Center

150 Park Row, New York, NY 10007

Perhaps you'll share a cell with El Chapo. You can talk about broads and money laundering all day long!

Gotta Love New Yorkers

Grande Dames

New York City has never had a female mayor (hopefully it'll have one, a good one, in my lifetime) but, nevertheless, NYC women persist. They persist in racking up, along with their male counterparts, great accomplishments across the fields of finance, culture, politics, education, and so much more.

As a father of two daughters of NYC, I seek strong female role models for them to admire.

Case in point -- Tish James, the current NYC Public Advocate and New York State Attorney General-elect. Soon she'll be one of the most powerful women in this state and country -- a ground breaker in so many ways. 

Or Melissa Mark-Viverito, the former New York City Council Speaker who has recently declared that she will run for Public Advocate once Ms. James vacates the post.

Beyond politics, few women in NYC are as powerful as Anna Wintour -- an English immigrant and editor of Vogue magazine, she rules the fashion word in NYC and, in many respects, the world. Reports of her demise are constant -- and forever premature. Men in positions of power come and go but Ms. Wintour goes on.

But great NYC women are just powerful -- they're also funny. Sure, there's lots of women comedians in NYC but my favorite NYC funny lady is Roz Chast, the legendary New Yorker cartoonist. Now she's getting her own exhibit which runs in Chelsea until December 15th. In a city and industry where careers rise and fall quickly, she's endured -- persisted -- for more than 40 years.

In the movie Love, Actually, the lead character says "Love, actually, is all around us." 

In NYC, grande dames are everywhere, all around us, making our city and world a better place.
And let's appreciate them, not when they're gone, but now. 

Mr NYC in Bermuda

Yet another from the memory file!

I went to Bermuda with my parents for a week many years ago. While I can't say it was the most memorable trip of my life, I did enjoy my time on that tropical island in the Atlantic Ocean.

If you don't know much about Bermuda, here's a little background: it's small island with about 64 miles of coastline about an hour's flight from NYC with subtropical temperatures and is in the midst of the "hurricane belt" (the "Bermuda Triangle" etc.). It's also one of the last outposts of the British Empire, technically an "overseas territory" that rules itself but has no foreign policy or military (the UK takes care of that).

I don't remember much about resort we stayed at except that it was at one of the far ends of the island and had beautiful views of the ocean. There numerous resorts on the island you can stay at if you ever care of visit, ranging in price.

Small as it is, Bermuda has two towns: Hamilton, the capital, and St. George's. I remember Hamilton was quite grand and St. George's was small, funky, and had great streets with lots of local life. We also did a lot of walking trails and saw much of the lush, local scenery.

The highlight of the trip was the submarine tour where you can go down deep into the ocean and see the amazing, gorgeous, eye-popping sea life that exists off the shore of Bermuda. If you ever go, this is a defiant must, no matter how "touristy" it might seem.

Lots of wealthy people have homes in Bermuda, including former Mayor Bloomberg. I doubt you'll run into them as most stay in their secluded mansions. I hope to go back to Bermuda again sometime with my own family and, considering how near it is to NYC, it's a place that all New Yorkers should check out.

P.S. One distinct memory I have of my time in Bermuda was, one afternoon after we got back from a day of sightseeing, we were relaxing in the main room of the resort when I went over to the big table that had lots of newspapers and magazines on it. I picked one up and saw the big news of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow breaking up and hurling nasty accusations at each other, etc. etc. etc. It was the first time I had heard about this "scandal" (it had just broken) and it would go on to dominate the tabloids for the next couple of years (before OJ, Monica, etc.). It was an interesting, totally random thing to happen during my time in paradise. 

The New Yorker on NYC

It should probably come as no surprise that I'm a subscriber to The New Yorker magazine and a listener to its radio show/podcast. It is, without a doubt, the best media outlet in America today, a repository of great investigative reporting (it took down Harvey Weinstein!), cultural reviews, personal profiles, fiction, cartoons, and so much more.

Each issue is like a candy box of intellectualism, different and tasty morsels to excite each part of your brain. 

Despite its name, The New Yorker is rarely about NYC. Except for "Talk of the Town", most issues are about people and places far away, it's focus international in score. But this week's issue, which you can read here, is "all about the town." It's a collection of articles and essay about life in the city from the past several decades, a love letter to the town. 

Normally I read an issue of The New Yorker in a couple of days but, for this issue, I plan to read each article one week at a time -- to extend the joy. This issue will make you remember why you love this city and why it's a place that can't be written about too much.

Living History

One of the pleasure of living in a city like New York is that history is literally all around -- and alive!

It's alive! 

Not just in the structures or the institutions -- literal and figurative -- that inhabit our city. It's also the people and their creations, some quite grand, some quite idiosyncratic. 

Two very different but notable examples:

The Payne Whitney Smith mansion on Fifth Avenue, right across from Central Park and The Met, hosts a room that is perhaps the most spectacular one in all of NYC -- dubbed the Venetian Room. This article provides pictures and history of this room that was designed by the legendary Stanford White and is a living artifact of the Gilded Age, a time once distant but also familiar to NYC today.

Then there's Swine Bowl. Yes, that's what it's called. It was an annual football game played by  childhood friends every Thanksgiving weekend since 1954. It started to Westchester but migrated to NYC in the early 1960s and has bonded these old friends through marriages, careers, children, and grandchildren. After 65 years, Swine Bowl has come to an end but it's an example of living history in NYC, one of many, that will never die.

In NYC, history lives side by side with its residents, and you'll find it in the most unexpected places.