Interview: Billy Procida of the The Manwhore Podcast

Sex! Love! Comedy! You'll find all that, and much more, on The Manwhore Podcast with Billy Procida!

More to the point, you'll find an intelligent yet sexy untangling of the complicated emotions, pitfalls, and opportunities of being a sexual creature in 21st century NYC and America. I've never heard anything quite like Manwhore: on the one hand, it's very titillating (i.e. lots of sex talk) but the podcast is also about the emotional and societal complications of sex and dating in a time of social media, #MeToo, and social/economic/political insanity. Billy and his guests obviously love to talk about sex but the show isn't really "pervy" -- it's more existential, asking "who are we as human beings and what does our sex lives tell us about ourselves in this crazy time?"

Billy is an NYC-based comedian and was kind enough to answer a few questions for Mr NYC about his comedy, his life, his podcast, and NYC.

Tell us a little bit about your background and career in comedy. Who are some of your comedy idols and influences? 

I grew up listening to George Carlin and Chris Rock. I stumbled up on Carlin simply by searching 'comedy' on Napster. Whatever files weren't broken became my comedy library. Being as prolific as he was, there were many albums I became acquainted with. With Rock, I thought he was hilarious in Dogma and then discovered his stand-up. I think I had Bigger and Blacker memorized when I was 13. Today, I find myself falling asleep listening to Doug Standhope—which probably explains all the nightmares.

What inspired the creation of the Manwhore podcast? What in your life and career made you decide to do this?

I had this very peculiar problem: women would sleep with me, but they wouldn't date me. So I wanted to find out why. Because I wanted relationships; I wanted love; but anytime I wanted to get more serious, it was always the woman who told me she wanted to keep it casual. This rarely ended things—I was still told to come over and do that thing that I do with my tongue. When it happened for the umpteenth time, I decided to start this podcast where I reconnect with former flames and find out what went wrong. 

Your podcast, while obviously being about sex, seems to also be focused on how sex and fun should be enjoyable without being exploitative or demeaning to anybody. Do you consider yourself and the podcast "woke" or just smart? 

I'm just a comedian with a fuck show. But a lot of people have described me with a variety of adjectives from woke to feminist to problematic. 

You and your guests have done some pretty wild things on your podcast. What's the craziest interview or thing your and guests did? Don't spare us the details!

I had a listener 'blow her way to Brooklyn.' A woman slid into my DMs on Instagram earlier this year. She lived in a nearby city and really wanted to hook up with me. It was late one night and I suggested she find a friend to give her a ride to New York City and how she could "thank" him. Then I thought...what if she 'thanked' a series of drivers all the way to Brooklyn just to hook up with me? Fueled by an overinflated ego, feeling flattered, I pitched her this scene where I would coordinate several rides to driver her different legs of her journey. She was to give a blowjob on each leg to show her thanks. Then she'd get to my door and 'get' to blow me (I personally don't think I'm much of a prize, but hey, whatever gets you going). So we documented it through her solo recordings in-between each driver up until she was standing outside my bedroom door talking about the anticipation of meeting me. We had a super fun night together and the next day recorded a surprisingly intimate and raw episode. Having a hot chick suck some dicks just to suck mine might be the craziest thing I've done on the podcast. 

That's pretty wild! Who are some of your dream podcasts guests that you haven't interviewed yet?

Dan Savage. Charlotte Clymer. Janet Mock. Laci Green. Kevin Smith. Louis C.K. Barack Obama. 

What's been the biggest surprise or thing you've learned -- about life, relationships (and, obviously) sex -- in doing the podcast?

I've learned to listen better—which is difficult when your job is seemingly to talk. But my job is in fact to listen, because this show is nothing without the women from my life. The more I listen, the more they talk. The more they talk, the better the episode. At least in my opinion. The same holds true in dating (and sex). 

How do you think the Trump presidency and ugly political environment has affected sex and relationships? 

Oh god, don't get me started. My sex and my relationships don't really change—I'm a cis straight white guy. I'll be fine. But the lives and relationships of many of my friends and colleagues might change, if they haven't already. I don't want to speak to those changes, because I don't really experience them and others can speak on it better, but it's no surprise that the Trump Administration—as well as the Republican Party, since it's in their 2016 party platform—is anti-queer. If you're a Republican who is openly for LGBT rights, you're a deviation of the party, since the GOP put it in their literal party platform. Explicitly. Trump tweeted a trans military ban. His vice president has attacked queers when he was the Governor of Indiana. Trump even put money back into abstinence only education (even though it's been proven time and again that it does not work). A lot of 'sex-positive' people want to say that they support LGBT people and are sex-positive and all that jazz...but vote Republican (or, ugh, third party). If you were able to and didn't vote in this most recent midterm election—and didn't vote Democrat—I'm willing to say that you are not sex-positive. Full stop. 

What are your thoughts about #MeToo? 

Dude, you gotta tighten this question. I think it's great that women are stepping forward with their stories. I'm glad that it's raised the topic of consent into many people's consciousness, enough that we might try to teach kids comprehensive sex education so they can learn about consent at younger ages. 

What are your hopes of the Manwhore podcast moving forward? 

I'm super excited for ManwhoreCon 2019. We just wrapped up my second annual fanwhore weekend in August, but I'm already so stoked to do it again! Fans are already talking about it in our secret Patreon-only communities. I also want to do more live shows in other cities next year and, of course, some fun episodes. I'm thinking The Pepsi Challenge of Cocksucking. 

Finally, tell us about your life in NYC and what you love about the city. And tell us anything else you'd like us to know! 

I love New York City. I've lived here 11 years and I always feel the magic—even when I spend 95% of the day inside. It's both a historical city and a modern city at the same time—and you can feel that all the time. I feel connected to hundreds of years of stories when walking down a street I know used to house the city's largest orphanage, or sitting in McSorley's Old Ale House, an institution that's had its doors open since Lincoln. My favorite book on New York, Lowlife by Luc Sante, describes this city in the most beautiful way I've ever seen. And I quote it often. "The firmament that is New York is greater than the sum of its constitutent parts. It is a city and it is also a creature, a mentality, a disease, a threat, an electromagnet, a cheap stage set, an accident corride. It is an implausible character, a monstrous vortex of contradictions, an attraction-repulsion mechanism so extreme no one could have made it up." 

Great quote! Thanks Billy! You can find Billy on Twitter @TheBillyProcida and download The Manwhore Podcast on ITunes.