The Money that Controls New York

Money talks and we all know what walks but, in NYC, some money talks louder than other money. And in NYC politics, real estate money screams the shrillest of all.

New York Candidates Awash in Real Estate Cash

New York's Neurosis

In his masterpiece Brideshead Revisited, novelist Evelyn Waugh wrote about New York City: "... in that city there is [a] neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy."

This made me ponder: is the excitement and vibrancy of this town really just a big case of insanity? A cynic might might say, "Of course!" Others might dismiss it as the crankiness of a stuffy old Englishman. Mr. Waugh wrote this in 1944 and the city has transmogrified many times since then. But was he right? Isn't this true, now more than ever?

I decided not to let such a cheap description of my hometown go unchallenged, even if it has taken sixty-plus years. So let's dissect what he meant:

First, a definition of neurosis. It is, according to Wikipedia, "a 'catch all' term that refers to any mental imbalance that causes distress, but, unlike a psychosis or some personality disorders, does not prevent or affect rational thought."

Second, let's extract the subtext of Mr. Waugh's sentence: "New Yorkers are mentally imbalanced, distressed people who wrongly believe their disorder to be a positive thing."

Third, let's pause and wonder ... what does this exactly mean?

Mr NYC's opinion: everyone's crazy. I mean everyone. Some more than others, some a lot more than others, but doesn't just about everyone exist, mentally, somewhere out of the societal norms? Is there anyone, anywhere, who can be pointed to as a model of 100% absolute mental hygiene?

New Yorkers are like all people in the world, "neurotic" to varying degrees. But the energy of this town is very real, even if it's fueled by neurosis. It circulates through all its inhabitants, so palpable that even Mr. Waugh from the Mother Country could feel it. And today, more than half a century later, it still exists.

So let's raise a glass to neurosis and pray that New Yorkers never lose it, remaining properly distressed and "imbalanced."

Florida = Rudy's Retirement

Dear Rudy aka Mr 9/11,

So sorry (not really) about your failure in the primaries. I guess shamelessly exploiting one's attachment to an American tragedy isn't quite the political goldmine it once was, even if it has been and will remain to be (depressingly enough) a financial windfall.

Being a hero for one day (even if a lot of the problems stemmed from your own negligence, like putting the OEM in the friggin' World Trade Center fer chrissakes) doesn't quite cut it when you're up against a man who suffered brutal torture for five years in Vietnam, never once flinching, and has dedicated his entire life to the well-being of our nation. As I said yesterday, you're no TR, nor are you John McCain. Not even close. Not even a LITTLE BIT close.

Oh, I know, I know, even if you're not so much of a hero, you're still "the man who cleaned up NYC." Even though crime began to fall under Mayor Dinkins - who hired lots more police? Even though it was really Bill Bratton who instituted things like CompStat and "broken windows" policing (and who, when he got the proper credit, you had fired and replaced with such great leaders as Howard Safir and Bernie Kerik)? Even though it was Clinton policies that led to NYC's incredible economic boom? Yes, take the credit. Never stopped you before.

Do you also take the credit for your campaign's utter and disastrous failure? "The path to the nomination is in Florida," you thought. "I'll get all these New York retirees to vote for me and that'll give me momentum into Super Tuesday!" Since when do a bunch of rich Early Bird Specialers make Presidents? My theory: you didn't want to campaign in colder states like Michigan and South Carolina, so you went to Florida for January where it's warm.

I've heard first-hand accounts of how when you were the USDA that there were people in your office who's sole job was to get you in the papers each day. How will you now handle being yesterday's news? Not to mention that this marks the SECOND time you've dropped out of a race where one of your opponents might have been Hillary Clinton. She's a tougher broad than you, even when you're in drag!

Well, I guess it's back home to Park Avenue and the Hamptons, you friend to the working stiff. This marks the last time Mr NYC will ever write anything about you. You love attention more than anything else. Well, you will no longer get it here.

And how long will it be until there's a FOURTH Mrs. G?

Ed Koch On Giuliani's Florida Loss: "The Beast Is Dead"

For Giuliani, a Dizzying Free-Fall

New Yorkers in the White House

Tonight may or may not decide whether a city-boy, a native of these five boroughs, has a shot at becoming the President of these here United States (yes, that whole country outside NYC which crosses multiple time zones).

Whether or not you care for our former Mayor, it would be interesting to see if a NYC Mayor has a shot at living in the White House. In other countries, the Mayors of the biggest cities have gone on to run the entire country (Jacques Chirac was Mayor of Paris before becoming President of France; the wacky President of Iran was once Mayor of Tehran - okay, maybe they're not great examples but they're examples nonetheless).

But for some reason, no Mayors of NYC and few Mayors of anywhere have gone one to become President. And only one native New Yorker, one man born within this town's limits, has gotten the job. Lucky for NYC and the USA, that man was Teddy Roosevelt, one of our nation's greatest leaders. Funny enough, he actually did once run for Mayor ... and lost!

If you've read Mr NYC enough, you know what I think of Rudy Giuliani. And to him I say, on this night that will decide his political future, "Rudy ... you're NO Teddy!"

Fly Oceanic Air

Will there be service out of JFK?

Even Water Based Animals Wanna Live in NYC

This is too cute ...

A Seal Visits the Upper West Side

Apparently this means that the Hudson River is getting cleaner. Who knows, maybe we'll be able to swim in it sometime soon.

The People's Court with Ed Koch

When The Judge, Judge Wapner, retired from the People's Court show some years ago, one of his replacements was ... Ed Koch, the former Mayor of NYC (he lasted from 1997 to 1999 or a one 1/6th of how long he was Mayor).

In this rather bizarre clip, Koch mediates a dispute between two people over a car. It's priceless to see and hear the former Mayor of the greatest city in the world say "sexual favas."

Seinfeld Rips Larry King

And since we ripped off Seinfeld in the title for the below entry, here's Jerry ripping Larry King - who shows here why he's an utter tool.

What's the Deal with Chipotle?

If you're like Mr NYC, then you're a consummate lover of Mexican food (and a consummate lover, ha ha ha - okay, sorry). Anyway, if you're looking out for good, cheap Mexican that isn't Taco Bell, then you may have seen the Chipotle Mexican Grills dotted around Manhattan. They are supposedly the "quality" Mexican fast food place, an Au Bon Pain-like establishment very much catering to Yuppies. So being a wannabe Yuppie, I recently went to the Chipotle in Soho and, I must say, was more than disappointed. In short:

1. The place is very noisy and crowded and the line moves at a glacial pace.

2. The tacos I had were small, didn't have a lot of seasonings or flavor (I love salsa, and the salsa on the tacos was spicy yet had no taste at all), and they were soggy. Plus there just wasn't something right about the ingredients - a guy on the message board linked here put it perfectly: "What can you say about a Mexican restaurant that makes burritos with white rice? 'WTF' comes to mind."

3. Chipotle is outrageously overpriced. Almost $7 for three lousy (and I mean lousy) tacos!

In short, very mediocre. Skip Chipotle and stick with Taco Bell. Thumbs down!

www.yelp.com

“It’s a goddamn phone booth! Who do you think I called?”

The New York Press has a great article today about the four remaining phone booths - yes, the actual metal and glass boxes that Superman changes in - in NYC. They are all, for reasons this article makes clear, on West End Avenue (between 66th and 101st streets).

If you've ever seen these phone booths and wonder why, in this huge city, there are only four left and why are all on West End Avenue (of all the godforsaken places), you will be shocked to learn that it's because of ONE person. You can either thank or scorn him, depending on your opinion of the phone booths. Personally, I'm glad in this cellphone/Blackberry era, we still have a few of these telephonic relics left.

DOES SUPERMAN LIVE ON WEST END AVENUE

See, even in NYC, one weirdo can make a difference!