Friday, August 24, 2012

Memo from NYC

Willard Romney is going to be formally nominated next week as the Republican party attempts to make him the 45th president of these United States. They argue that Romney is some kind of economic genius who will be able to fix the horrible economic problems that they themselves inflicted on this country when they were last in power under President Bush -- and that, for the last three and a half years, President Obama has been trying to fix.

For the last few years, the GOP has tried to portray Obama as some kind weird "other", a freak of nature who somehow conned the nation into giving him the nation -- and the world's -- most powerful job. They like to portray Obama as mystery man who possesses strange ideas to transform America into some kind of Islamic socialist international state (never mind that Obama killed Osama Bin Laden and refused to fight for Medicare for All in the health care debate). The GOP wants you to believe that Obama is just strange and therefore he shouldn't be reelected.

And, of course, he's black. 

Enter Willard. He's all American! He's a Republican! And he's white! And, gee golly, he'll just make such a gosh darn good president because he's very, very rich. Nothing weird about him!

Au contraire.

Willard Romney is probably the strangest man ever to run for president in American history. 

He looks and sounds like a malfunctioning robot ("severely conservative" anybody?). He once took a picture with a bunch of black kids and said "Who let the dogs out?" He has flipped flopped on every issue imaginable. And he has a pathetic desperation in his voice of a high school virgin begging a cheerleader to rid him of his virginity. The guy is just creepy and strange and gross.

And no, never mind the fact that he's a Mormon -- never mind that Romney believes that God is a man who lives on a planet called Kolub, that he wears magic underwear, that the Garden of Eden is in Jackson County, Missouri and that he, Romney, will one day get his own planet. Never mind that! How's about Romney's finances?

They are truly, downright bizarre.

Yes, he's rich but that's not the issue -- it's that Romney's finances are a complex maze that only a Bernie Maddoff could understand. He has accounts in the Caymen's and Switzerland. He has money in shell company's to hide them from taxes. And he's lied about his money as well -- saying that he left Bain Capital in 1999 while it has been proven that he's been working and getting money from the company since then. How someone with finances like this didn't think these would become an issue in a presidential race -- and who refuses to release his tax returns -- makes him the most clueless president candidate since ... well, ever.

The great website Gawker today has released 950 pages of Bain documents that prove how complex and bizarre Romney's finances are. A person's finances are an extension of the person. 

Which would make Romney the weirdest president we've ever had. Let's hope to God it never happens.

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