"Hello, hello": The Gary Love Tape @ 20

If you're a huge Howard Stern fan like me, then you remember when the Gary Love Tape was revealed to the world back in June 1999. 

Back story: Howard's producer Gary made a tape to his on-again/off-again girlfriend back in 1988 begging her to come back to him. The tape remained a secret for more than a decade when a caller to the show revealed -- and Gary confirmed -- its existence. It was finally played on the show and became a classic moment in the history of Howard Stern.

Looking like Daryl Oates, talking into a microphone and video camera, the love-lorn Gary's tape is a hilarious, gut-busting mix of desperation, narcissism, and male entitlement. It's egomania run amock. He tells his ex "This is what I want" and "I feel like my professional life is at a 9" -- pronounced noine -- "and my personal life is at a 2." Then he says "I miss you man" and that he might be open to "mmmmmm-marriage." 

This from a guy who was apparently cheating on her left and right. Fortunately, Gary matured from this and wound up marrying a great (other woman) and having a family. 

It's amazing, after watching this, that any woman wants anything to do with any man. We should all probably be in jail.

P.S. The Gary Love Tape inspired a great rendition of Bruce Springstein's "Secret Garden" known as "Booey Maguire." It's beautiful, touching, and funny as hell.