Mr NYC in the Poconos

Recently the family and I took an overnight trip to a resort in the Poconos, the beautiful mountain range in Northern Pennsylvania overlooking the Delaware River.

Despite being only a two-hour drive from NYC, this was the first time yours truly ever ventured there. Like the Catskills or the Berkshires, the Poconos is a place where people like to ski in the winter and swim in the summers, getting a literal and figurative breath of fresh air from the stresses of city life.

Since we really aren't skiers, we spent almost all of our time there in a massive indoor water park with slides and running rivers and hot tubs that we really loved. Outdoors the views were beautiful (if not quite as stunning as the Sierra Nevada ranges) and the air was very frigid -- you never realize how high up you are until that cold mountain air hits you in the face. The thing about the Poconos is that its heyday is long past -- before frequent air travel and rising incomes, families from NYC and Philly would go to places like this for vacations. It was a booming time of big resorts, vaudeville shows, and whole transient communities. Nowadays, that's a thing of the past, most of the resorts are gone or abandoned -- but the skiing and rivers still attract some tourists.

We had a few interesting and weird experiences during our 36 hours in the Poconos.

In addition to the water fun, my family and I did an "escape room" where a whole family gets trapped in a series of rooms and has to do a bunch of stunts to get out. The first room was so impossible to get out of that someone had to come in and help us but then I shot a bunch of fake rats (don't ask) that got us out of the second room (this made me a hero to the wife and kids) and then in the third room we didn't have to do much to do. While I'm glad we did the escape room, I can't imagine it's an experience we'll ever repeat.

The people working at the resort were very nice if a little eccentric. One of the guys who served us at the pool was from the Bronx and, when we decided to order pizza, he told us: "Remember, it's not New York pizza, it's Poconos pizza, best for kids and drunks."

We also did something called a "silent disco" where people congregate and are given headphones with pre-programmed music and they can dance to different songs. My family danced (I didn't) and it was a weird if lighthearted thing to experience. 

Then another time I ordered a cocktail off the bar menu called "On the Slopes" -- basically a White Russian except that it substituted Grand Marnier for Vodka. When I ordered the drink, the old lady bartender said: "That's a good choice!"

Me: "Thanks."

Bartender: "It's my drink, I invented it."

Me: "Oh, I see."

Bartender: "It's actually called 'Sex on the Slopes' but they wouldn't let me put 'sex' on the menu."

Me (unsure how to reply): "Well, this is a family establishment."

Bartender: "Kids don't look at the menu!"

She had a point but I still don't understand why you'd called a drink "Sex on the Slopes" since, unlike "Sex on the Beach", sex on skiing slopes isn't something people really do. Anyhoo ...

I liked the Poconos, it was very nice, and you should check it out if you'd like a brief respite from the crazy life of NYC.