Sunday, September 19, 2010

Love and the City

Interesting column from the New York Press about a woman who thought she was too cool to have an ordinary relationship. Instead, she and her inamorata thought they could have a post-modern, "post-love" relationship that seemed to be about everything but commitment (forget about marriage and kids, that's way, way too square for these cats).

What she found, in the long run, was that trying to redefine traditional relationships is impossible -- feelings can never be ignored and what people really want, in the end, is a stable commitment. (And when I say "redefine traditional relationships" I'm not implying in anyway that I'm against gay marriage -- I 100% support it.)

Only in the NYC, the author convincingly argues, do people think they're too good for a regular relationship. They think they can have their cake and eat it too. They're way too sophisticated, way too cool for that.


What struck me about this article is that I have known so many people who have tried to have just these types pseudo or "meta" relationships -- relationships that try to have all the fun and joy (like sex, companionship, even social respectability) but that requires none of the attendant sacrifices and responsibilities (like monogamy and family and social obligations). The thing that all of these people have in common is a belief that somehow they're special, that they're too intelligent and enlightened to be bound by regular human emotions, that somehow they're above it all and only dopes and rubes let themselves get "tied down." Well, inevitably, these insane types of non-relationship/relationships end in disaster and people discover they're human after all.

Speaking for myself, I've never thought I was that special. And I'm lucky to have found my lovely wife who makes my life such a joy. I may be a New Yorker, and a damn proud one, but when it comes to love, the (truly) better half and I are as square as they come.

1 comment:

Please keep it civil, intelligent, and expletive-free. Otherwise, opine away.