Interview: Simone Grant of "Sex, Lies & Dating in the City"

Dating in NYC is such a crazy adventure that, over the decades, there have been books, movies, and TV shows aplenty all trying to make sense of the madness. From Annie Hall to Sex and the City, the stories of New Yorkers and love has been exhaustively told -- and inhabited numerous multimedia platforms. Naturally, in the 21st century, this has come to include blogs, and numerous New Yorkers have created some really great ones chronicling their travails of the dating scene here.


Few, however, has done it with such originality as Simone Grant of the intriguingly named blog Sex, Lies & Dating in the City. Her blog might be called the first Web 3.0 dating blog, where she not only tells her own dating stories but also conducts polls of her readers on their dating stories/advice and  directs them to products that might make their love lives a little spicier. Simone was kind enough to share her thoughts of sex, love and dating in the city and what makes her blog so unique.   

There are lots of dating/sex/relationship blogs out there but yours is a little different than most. Tell us about what makes it so unique and why you named it "Sex, Lies & Dating in the City"? 

Well, to be fair, I'm sure every one's blog is unique in some way.  

Back when I first started my blog, in 2008, I wanted to make sure it was true to my experience of dating. I didn't want it to be one funny story after another, or one horror story after another.  I could have done that, and maybe it would have been more popular.  But all of my dating stories aren't funny.  Some are.  And some are sad, or frustrating, or just repetitive (because a lot of dating is just repetitive).  My goal was to create something that real people could read and relate to.

As for the name, that was just me being a dumbass.  I wasn't particularly experienced with blogs or publishing online and it hadn't occurred to me that putting SEX in the title would be a bad thing. Most people cannot read my blog at work, if they work in any kind of business environment; nor can you read it at public libraries or many chain coffee shops which seriously affects my blogs ratings. The name was just a mishmish of "Sex and the City" and "Sex, Lies and Videotape".  Neither are particular favorites of mine, btw.  I was just tossing around ideas for names and they came to mind and the next thing I knew ...  Like I said, me being a dumbass. 

You like to poll your readers about various aspects of their love lives. What inspired you to create these polls and what do they tell you about your readers?

I'm a question girl.  Always asking questions and attracted to people who ask questions.  I find the answers amusing, but take them with a grain of salt.  I find that people's answers change with time, with experience, with alcohol.  Seriously, I adore my readers and love reading the comments, but tend to think that people lie (on polls and most everywhere else).  

So what does Simone Grant look for in a guy? Has your blog affected your love life in any way?

What do I look for?  Damned if I know.  OK, that's a lie. But it's a complicated question.  I'd like to think I'll know him when I see him, but I've thought that before and been very, very wrong.  

For now, I'd like to meet a kind man who I'm massively attracted to (which has more to do with what's on the inside than the outside) to date and build a solid relationship with.  Slowly.  Like a date or 2 a week for the next couple of years.  

The blog has affected my love life, but only in that I know I cannot become involved with a man who would not be OK with it (the blog). And I know that many wouldn't.  A couple have already failed the test.  C'est la vie.  

A question about blogs in general: you seemed to have turned your blog into a successful business. What advice can you give to other aspiring bloggers to do the same?

I was a writer who became a blogger who then became a social media consultant. And, I'm still a writer at heart.  The writer in me screams, pretty much daily, at the horrifyingly low quality of much of what's out there in the blogosphere. Sometimes I'm screaming at myself, because I put stuff out there that I know isn't that good. I just don't have time to make it better (because I'm working on a deadline, or feel pressure to blog daily).  My advice is that content still matters.  Sure, good content marketed poorly won't find an audience. But bad content marketed well won't earn an audience.

One thing that comes through on your blog is that you're a die-hard New Yorker. What is it that you love about NYC so much -- and what is your opinion of the dating scene here?

As for the dating scene, it's not for the faint of heart.  One of my dear friends, and native New Yorker, is fond of saying that you have to fight for everything here. No where is that more true than in the dating scene.  You have to be wiling to fight.  For your sanity if nothing else.

Tell us something about Simone Grant that we don't know.

I'm a lot cooler IRL. For real. 

Thanks Simone!