Row, Row, Row Your Boat ... in Central Park

Today my lady friend and I went to see if we could take the balloon ride currently being offered in Central Park. Sadly it was closed. The reason: too much wind (although it seemed very un-windy to us). Anyhoo, we did not let that deter us, and we did something just as enjoyable and much more old-fashioned: we took a row boat out on the lake.

The typically cynical New Yorker probably thinks of this as a tourist trap but au contraire: New Yorkers have been tooling about this lake ever since Frederick Law Olmstead's day. Sure there are tourists but lots of the people are recognizably native. All races, ages, classes, and creeds row these boats. It's not snobby or touristy. It's one of the few democratic pastimes left in NYC

As you row about the lake, you see how beautifully maintained Central Park is: there are weeping willows and gorgeous flower beds on the shore, and patches where overhanging tree branches provide shade. At certain points you row through beds of algae which might sound gross but is actually quite lovely. And beyond the lake and green of the park, you see the majestic buildings of Manhattan peaking out hither and thither: the San Remo, the Dakota, the Time Warner Center, the Plaza, the Citicorp and AT&T Buildings.

It's important, obviously, to look where you're going since your two biggest dangers are grounding the boat (if you're too close to land) or bumping into another boat. You always need to look around and mind your neighbors, but if you do and make it habitual, you can enjoy the lake just fine.

If you've never done this but have secretly always wanted to, my advice is do it! Do it now! Take someone you like (or love) and it'll be a memorable time. All the info you need is right here. You go the Boathouse, put down a $20 deposit that you get back, and pay $12 for an hour. If you row for over an hour, then it's $3 for every fifteen minutes. It's actually a pretty good deal and, for my money and time, was worth every penny and second of it.

They Really Do Check Bags in the Subway

I guess it had to happen eventually -- today, on my way home from work, a terse officer from New York's Finest asked me to show her the contents of my briefcase.

After descending into the station, the lady officer said "Open your bag for me, sir", and I placed it down on the little table. Instead of walking over two feet to where I was standing, she insisted I walk closer to her and open up. She examined all the naughty, dangerous things encased within -- a folder, date book, IPod, umbrella -- and sent me on my way.

I like to think I'm a solid, honest citizen and have nothing (well, almost nothing) to hide but, dammit, it's totally fascist that we're forced to open our bags to the cops. It DOES NOT make ANYONE safer! What terrorists or criminals does this thwart? The illusion of safety ...

We Got Him!!

From Green Bay to Broadway: Favre Is a Jet

Isn't that what New York is all about -- making a new start? It's a new start for the Jets too. Lord knows they need it.

Granted it was a little uncool of Favre to retire and then un-retire and make Green Bay all crazy but hey, a great player is a valuable asset and if the Packers don't want him, then I'm glad the Jets got him.

My brother actually worked with Brett Favre once and has an autographed football from him. I bet it's gotten even more valuable now.

Licensed to Shtup

So you want to hook up with someone but you're afraid they might give you the clap -- or something worse. "Who knows what kind of critters might be festering within?" you wonder.

Maybe you should pass. Self-love might be safer.

But then -- hold on -- your l'object d'amour whips out a card with a phone number you can call to verify that this person has been tested and is clean. "Oh goodie!" you shout. Time to rock.

This might sound ridiculous but it's real. It was a big story in the Daily News yesterday: American Sexpress Card: Don't jump in bed without it, founder says. It was created by a guy in Brooklyn and it's actually called the STFree card. Over 15,000 people have signed up for it. And in this town, which is a little randier than most, it's probably a good idea. Who knows, in a few years the government might require everyone to carry this card around like a driver's license.

If you think about it, after a while, having one of these will become a status symbol for guys in NYC. It will imply that they have been successful with the ladies and are "playas." Just watch.

Thanks MTA ...

Report Finds Poor Conditions in Subway Stations

Yeah! No kidding!! Did the MTA really need a report to tell them that? Da fools ...

The Jewish HBO

Well, that's what The New York Times and some other people call it but the Jewish Channel calls itself a "cultural home" for all things Jewish. It has movies, documentaries, discussion shows, everything that relates to Jewish life. I'm not Jewish myself but some of their programmings and offerings sound quite interesting. Check out it's website.

I like the channel's slogan, "TJC is Judaism, On-Demand." That's the 21st century for you: faith, when you want it!

Hey, if there are Christian broadcasting networks, why not a Jewish one?

NYC and Our Soliders

A Trip to New York Gives Wounded Veterans a Break From a Patient’s Dull Routine

A very touching story. "Doing the town" can't replace missing limbs or cure PTSD, but if the wonders of New York can lift the spirits of our soldiers, it makes the craziness of this place all the more special.

JMW Turner at the Met

Through September 21 there is a special exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on the paintings of JMW Turner. He was a late eighteenth century and nineteenth century English painter (1775-1851) who was, in many ways, the father of Impressionism. This is a the first big exhibit of this very important painter in decades.

I just saw the exhibit and it's really fascinating. His paintings range from modest watercolors to huge oil canvases. Turner's most iconic paintings are the burning Houses of Parliament (all done in 1834, they year of the big London fire).

What's interesting about the exhibit is seeing how Turner developed from a very conventional, classical painter into a really bold and original one. His early works begin as perfectly rendered scenes of London, Venice and the English countryside but, as you go along, the paintings get much more abstract and weird. While by today's modern art standards they are quite tame, for a painter to be putting out such unconventional stuff in pre-Victorian England, this was daring stuff.

Check out this exhibit if you can.

Nasty People

Rolling Stone reporter Matt Taibbi has a brilliant article about John McCain and the disgusting criminal enterprise that is today's Republican Party: Without a Prayer. Taibbi sums it up perfectly when he writes:

"The Moral Majority Christians and the supply-side neocons always represented two of the worst and most vile impulses in the American character — mass, willful ignorance and total, shameless greed. In one wing of the ruling-party mansion they housed preachers who transformed the religion of "turn the other cheek" and "go, give away all your possessions to the poor" into a "Christianity" that celebrated shock-and-awe bombing and assault-rifle ownership and decried the progressive income tax as unfair to the propertied class. In the other wing they housed "conservatives" who turned the party of limited government into a giant snooping apparatus, one that borrowed trillions against the future earnings of ordinary taxpayers and sacrificed thousands of lives to snatch a few Middle Eastern oil wells for companies that were rich as hell to begin with."

Stupidity, fear, greed -- that's today's GOP. They no have solutions to America's problems because they created so many of them. The disastrous economy, the war in Iraq, the spiraling energy and health care costs, the vast corruption in Congress, the corrupt Justice Department -- what a friggin' mess!

Naturally John McCain believes he and his party are best suited to fix the problems they created. Please ... Would you ask your drug dealer to help you through rehab? Hmmmm? .... No!

This is not to say that Democrats are holier-than-thou paragons of virtue -- HELL NO! -- but their sins pale in comparison to the vile, sleaze, and foulness of the Republicans.

More than 3/4 of Americans say the country is on the wrong track. What hell is wrong with the other almost 1/4 of Americans?