Memo from NYC

The news roaring around NYC and Hollywood and the interwebs these days is about the fall from grace of Harvey Weinstein, whose companies Miramax and The Weinstein Company produced some of the best movies of the last quarter century. 

Surprise, surprise, it turns out Mr Weinstein is a nasty creep who used his power in the movie business to harass and coerce women into unwanted sexual activity. This has become a familiar pattern as of late: a story breaks about, or a lawsuit is filed against, a rich, famous, and powerful man (like Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, or Bill O'Reilly, etc.) and then more stories surface, and then even more stories surface, about how they used their positions to force women to submit to them (and then paid off or made them sign agreements to stay quiet). These men then lose their careers and become pariahs, and much hand-ringing ensues about why such men were able to thrive and get away with their behavior for so long.

Unless, of course, you're Donald Trump -- then you not only get away with it, you become president.

Wait ... perhaps that explains it!

Perhaps the fact that Trump is president shows us why these other guys got away with it for so long: there's something in American culture that actually approves of this kind of behavior, there's some demon within ourselves that wants this kind of alpha-male, "grab 'em by the ..." mentality to be okay. That's why, in part, men overwhelmingly voted for Trump. They want his kind of gross behavior to be condoned, to be mainstream, and what better way to make predatory behavior seem normal than to make a predator president? 

Let's face it: many men, if they had the money and power of these guys, would be doing the same thing. "Man!" a lot of them think, "If I was them, it'd be broads 24/7!" After all, they wonder, what's the point of money, power, and fame if it can't get you laid? I know men. I am one. This is how a lot of us think: women are a prize to be won or a commodity to be acquired. They're the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Like Tony Montana said in Scarface: "In America, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the wo-man." 

And let's not entirely absolve women from this whole nightmare either. While I don't blame the victims, I also wonder if, sometimes, some women (please let me emphasize only some women) unintentionally contribute to this sick culture of exploitation. After all, there are dating websites for "sugerbabies" looking or "sugardaddies." There are shows like The Bachelor where women literally compete to attract a guy. Oh, and let us not forget this depressing fact: a majority of white women voted for Donald Trump in 2016 even after his notorious "grab 'em tape" was leaked. Trump, a raging narcissistic misogynist pig (among other offenses), is sitting in the Oval Office instead of the first woman president because women put him there! That said, that doesn't let us guys off the hook: men should not tolerate the crap that guys like Weinstein and Trump perpetuate. We have to be as loud against it as any woman, because it reflects on all of us, all men. 

Power is not carte blanch to sexually dominate women -- or anyone. Period. 

Final thoughts: I'm not rich, not famous, never been powerful, and probably never will be. But I've been a working stiff for almost my entire adult life. And it amazes me to see guys, even those who are nowhere near as rich and powerful as the aforementioned villains, hit on and creep on women at work, creating an uncomfortable environment for them and everyone in their place of business.  Guys, listen up: a place of business is not a singles bars, it's not a dating app, it's not frat party, it's not pick up joint -- it's a place where people go to earn a living, advance their careers, and build towards their futures. It's also a place where, let's face it, you're only there to help someone else make money. Wanna score chicks? Do it on your own time, somewhere else. But at work, work, and only use your big head. Or you may wind up like Harvey Weinstein.  

One Night on the George Washington Bridge

I hate sitting in traffic.

This goes without saying -- everyone hates sitting in traffic. But late one Sunday night, around 10 PM, I was sitting in the cab of a U-Haul truck that my brother was drving, stuck on the George Washington Bridge. The traffic was bumper to bumper, and we inched ... and inched ... and inched ... and innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnched forward, bringing us slowwwwwwwly back home into Manhattan.

This was a transitional moment for both of us.

My brother was moving the last of his stuff home after having lived elsewhere for a few years, and he was driving me back from college after I had graduated two days earlier. All of my stuff, my entire life in a sense, was packed into that truck. My future, the entire rest of my life, was right ahead of me, just across this bridge, just sitting there, waiting to start. This wasn't simply another night in my life, just another traffic jam, just another bridge crossing -- this was a demarcation point, a special and a unique moment, a bridge both literal and figurative, between the past and the future, between being a kid and becoming an adult, between hope and destiny ... 

... and it was taking forever!  

Sometimes I feel like I'm still stuck in that traffic jam, an extremely young man, getting ready for my life to start, waiting for the promised excitement to begin.

I've thought about that night, that moment, on the GWB a lot lately because it's hard to square that world with the one we're living in now -- a triple whammy of pandemic, economic depression, and deep racial strife. On that night on the GWB, Bill Clinton was president, George Pataki was governor, Rudy Guiliani was mayor, the World Trade Centers still stood, Iraq remained uninvaded, George W. Bush was Governor of Texas, Barack Obama was an Illinois State Senator, Donald Trump was a has-been real estate developer, the Internet was brand new and could only be accessed with a phone dial-up, talking about phones, most people still used landlines, very few people had cell phones, smartphones were still almost a decade away from being invented, newspapers were still printed in abundance, Howard Stern was still married to his first wife and and Jackie Martling was still one of his sidekicks, Harvey Weinstein was still running Miramax and was a respected Oscar-winning producer, Bill Cosby was still America's dad, there were no pedestrian plazas or bikeshares on the streets of NYC, lots of old buildings still existed and lots huge fancy ones didn't, there were no streaming shows, no Golden Age of Television (not yet at least, The Sopranos had just hit the air and the "Golden Age" monicker was still not invented yet), Amazon still only sold books, and so much more that existed and was going on then that is gone or that has become unrecognizable today. 

Twenty-plus years later it feels like everything is falling apart. These days destruction rules and creation is in retreat.

We live in an age of nihilism, of "disruption", of "creative destruction," of "cancel culture" and neo-McCarthyism, of everyone just wanting just to "burn it down", of people wanting to destroy other people and cultures and businesses and governments and whole industries and whole societies, of ruining and wrecking and "taking down" people while not helping anyone or creating anything, of perpetual rage and ruin. 

This is not the future I wanted, for myself or anyone, during that night on the GWB so long ago.

I was deluded enough to think back then that the future ahead, my future, across that bridge, across the new century/millenium due to start in a few short months, would be a glorious place, an exciting world, one surely much better than the century and childhood I was leaving behind me in what F. Scott Fitzgerald called "the dark fields of the republic" that "rolled on under the night." The blinking lights of the city ahead, just over this jammed bridge, were my green light, my fresh new world, surely destined to be magical, an arcadia of sorts, where the old problems of the past would vanish and a new pancea of possibilities would emerge. After all, it was a time of great peace and prosperity and the future looked bright -- certainly it was only going to get better.

Right?

Nope. It got worse. A lot worse. And here we are today, living in the hopelessly divided "United" States of America, the future looking grim. If only had someone told me that one night twenty-something years ago on the George Washington Bridge ... I might not have gotten so annoyed at the traffic. 

P.S. This is one of the reasons Mr NYC exists -- it's an act of creation, an act of optimism in a pessimisstic place, a place where we "build it up", a place where hope and kindness rule. As always, Mr NYC remain perpetually unfashionable.

Pete Hamill & the NYC Underwelt -- Viewpoints

Recently I interviewed (for the third time) the prominent NYC journalist Ross Barkan about the recent victories of the DSA in primaries. I've also blogged about my sadness at the death of legendary NYC journalist Pete Hamill, and also about the quixotic, hopelessness of nostalgia -- part of what I dubbed the NYC Underwelt -- a longing for a past that is gone forever.

So it was fascinating for me to see these threads joined up when I stumbled upon a great new article by Ross in GQ that's about Pete Hamill, who made NYC nostalgia a huge part of his trademark. Ross's article is interesting because, while he cleary admires Hamill's life and career, it points out that the kind of career Hamill had isn't really possible anymore (thanks to the Internet, the need for advanced degress, plus the high cost of living in NYC), and that nostalgia has its dangers -- revanchism, regression, the kind of "make great again" mentality that led to Trump. Quite often, in fact necessarily, it's tied to racism/sexism/anti-semitism/bigotry of all kinds, to an attitude of "that's when those people knew their place", an ugly and dehumanizing worldview (one that Hamill tried strongly to denounce but that, nonetheless, hovers above). Hamill himself wrote about his dislike of (then) contemporary culture like rap (let's faec it, black) music and tight clothes, etc. and he rhapsodized about "Lost New York" -- where the Giants still played at the Pole Grounds, the Dodgers still played at Ebbets Field, the subway cost a nickel, no one was afraid of getting mugged -- oh, and with a post-WWII economy that boomed decade after decade.

Ross takes issue with the idea of "Lost New York", saying there really is no such thing: "There is no Lost New York, not lost Country. There are places we inhabit, and those we hope to do the best with while we're here." He believe that making the present better is all we have, and I agree. He also speculates that his Millennial generation (one I'm just a lil' too old to count as a member of but identify with) will be less prone to Hamill-esque nostalgia: he believes that the last 20 years of 9/11, the Iraq War, the 2008 financial crises, the Trump presidency, and now COVID-19 (I'd also throw in the bizarre 2000 election into this litany of horrors) will render nostalgia for this time moot. 

To this I say ... perhaps. Sadly, most people of his or any generation isn't quite as thoughtful as ross.

Certainly the 21st century has been brutal for America, especially for a generation raised at the end of the 20th century. It was an era, in hindsight, of misplaced optimism -- the economy boomed relentlessly (thanks to lots and lots and lots of debt and crazy financial shenanigans), Bill Cosby was America's role model, Harvey Weinstein was producing great movies, and Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton were wildly popular.

But here's the thing about nostalgia, about the unending journey that so many of us, especially New Yorkers, take into the underwelt -- we're hardwired for it. It's a reptillian part of the brain, of our psyche and soul, of human nature. We can't help it, it's instictual, reflexive, like swallowing. 

Hamill's younger days were a time when legal segregation reigned, either in law or in practice, and homosexuals lived in The Closet. There was McCarthyism, the JFK assasination, Vietnam, riots, Watergate, and stagflation. And yet ... people like Hamill remember it fondly. Even the most horrible war in human history lead to gauzy nostalgia movies like Saving Private Ryan and The Thin Red Line, turning the tragedy of what killed my great uncle into entertainment (hey, I bought tickets to both!). When Marty McFly travelled from a rundown, porno infested Hill Valley in 1985 to a sock-hoppy happy one in 1955, the idea of "this time sucks, it was so much better 30 years ago" was quite au courant. Now we have Stranger Things, set in the 1980s, that does the very same thing!

The past is always better than the present -- because it's a safe, predictable place to go. 

In the time when Ross and I were young, we had Reagonomics, Rodney King, Lorena Bobbit, NAFTA, OJ, Monica -- and people today are super-nostalgic for that time. There's literally a movie called Mid-90s. NYC in the 1970s, when the city was subtley named "Fear City", has gained cultural traction today.

See my point? No matter how horrible the past was in reality, the present always looks at it through rose-colored glasses. The rough edges get smoothed, the messiness of the past is neatly re-packaged in books, documentaries, movies, TV shows, and podcasts, with narratives giving it a logic it didn't possess at the time. NYC today is a gentrified nightmare for a lot of people today, the same people who deplored the city thirty, forty-plus years ago when they thought it was falling apart. 

So I agree with Ross that we should cast Hamill-eque nostalgia aside and do our best the make the present better -- that we should not get trapped in the underwelt. But nostalgia, like racism and sexism and bad taste, will forever exist in some form. Again, it's just a part of who we are.

UPDATE: Comment from Ross Barkan on August 18, 2020: "I enjoyed the post and agree with the sentiments. Thank you for sending it to me. The Hamill legacy is a complicated one and deeply tied to NY."

To Live in Disgrace in NYC

Public shaming has become, forgive the intellectual laziness, "a thing" these days. From misconduct allegations, to stupid social media posts, to getting arrested and sometimes even convicted of crimes -- whatever the offence or affront, either civil or criminal or purely social or otherwise -- more people than ever seem to have become pariahs, outcasts, socially toxic.

People who were once famous, beloved, and powerful -- Bill Cosby, Matt Lauer, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Rose, Harvey Weinstein, and others -- are now either unemployed or awaiting trial or already in jail or being sued or just ... cast out, totally banished from public life. Not only did these fallen people once have big careers that made them famous, rich, or just respected, but they were members of "polite society" and lived busy lives of glamour -- parties, premieres, award shows, galas, fundraisers, openings, talk shows, panel appearances, festivals, conferences, you name it -- the full smorgasbord of a successful life. The beautiful, the powerful, the rich, the famous, or just the merely popular and successful live non-stop on this circuit, this merry-go-round hamster wheel of events that prove and consolidate their vaunted status.

And when they fall from grace, for whatever reason, not only do they lose their jobs and sometimes face legal problems but the glamour evaporates. No more invitations. No more events. They fall off the hamster wheel, the circuit of a successful life shorts-out.

That has to be the worst thing of all. Not only losing your job, not only enduring great humiliation, not only living in legal jeopardy, but having all this excitement, all this stuff that kept your life busy and fun, just go ... poof. One can only imagine the emptiness, the loneliness, the boredom, the long days and nights at home, having nothing to do, nowhere to go, suddenly burdened with tons of unwanted time that you now have to fill yourself. The whole structure of your life is gone and there's nothing to look forward to. The volume of your life goes from loud to mute. You're in your own kind of dystopia, a unique and personal hell.

However, there's one place that pariahs can go -- or at least try to: restaurants. If you can get a reservation (presumably not under your name), or just walk in, even the most socially toxic people can eat out. After all, restaurants are businesses and need to make money and they'll serve and take the money of anyone so long as they don't think it'll cost them other customers (boycotts are, sadly, another "thing").

This article is an interesting look at how pariahs are sometimes seen in upscale NYC restaurants and how they are sometimes gawked at or ignored but are sometimes welcomed. The prime example: Michael Cohen, the disgraced former lawyer for Donald Trump. He may be a confessed liar, turncoat, and criminal but, at his preferred dining spots, he's still quite welcomed.

On a personal level, when I read about these fallen people, these once high flying people, now socially toxic pariahs, I have mixed feelings. If they did something really bad, if they damaged people's lives and careers, then social ostracism is probably the least punishment they deserve. But I also hate to see anyone lose everything, I hate to see anyone crash hard. Unlike a lot of people, I don't suffer from schadenfreude, I don't like seeing people suffer -- except for maybe Donald Trump and everyone around him.

I guess what I find interesting about people who are social pariahs is that I can, in some way, relate. Now, don't get me wrong, I've never been publically shamed or accused of anything nasty (Mr NYC is a very square dude). I've never been "disgraced" in the way so many have been lately -- but I've been never successful or popular in any way whatsoever (heck, I can't even get my friends or family to read this blog!). I've never been a high-flyer and lived on the circuit of success. In a way, I guess I've always been what one might consider a "natural disgrace" -- so how could I become a disgrace?  

You know how there are some people who're successful enough that you and everyone is envious or who are just so attractive and charismatic that people are naturally drawn to them? Yeah ... I'm the opposite of that!

I'm almost never invited anywhere or to any event, there's so social circuit hamster wheel in my life. On the rare occasions I do get invited somewhere, I'm overly flattered by it and it feels quite odd and unnatural, like something's wrong.

If I ever do become an official pariah (not that I want to!), I'd probably handle it quite well. Heck, I'm practically already one! So if you need any advice on how to negotiate life as a loser ... I'm your man!

Memo from NYC

Sometimes it feels like we're living in a highly bi-polar country. 

On one side, things have never felt more scary and dire: a reality-show tabloid freak show from my childhood is now the President and his ruling party is openly fascistic, their government engaging in outright racism and cruelty, things I never imagined I'd ever see, especially in the 21st century. As a result of this, we're seeing literal BOMBS sent to their political rivals. It's spine-chilling, frightening stuff (not to mention that a hero from my childhood, Bill Cosby, is now a jailed convicted rapist).

And then on the other side ... things have neve been better! The activism we're seeing in response to all this evil stuff is truly inspiring to watch and, at least entertainment wise, things have never been better. Is it sad that I'm super excited that The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is coming back for a second season? It stuff like this -- political and social activism, an extremely rich culture -- that make me feel like, in some ways, we're living in the best of times. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald talked about how a genius is someone who can hold two opposing thoughts in his or her head at the same time. Things in this country have never been worse -- or better. So both are true -- and let's hope that the bad stuff (i.e. the GOP in power) goes away soon).

To Rise & Fall in NYC

It's easy to look at the insanity that is Trump's America and to fear that it will always be like this.

It's easy to think that today will also be tomorrow somehow -- and the day after that, ad infinitum.

One of the flaws of the human mind, in my experience and observation, is that many people think that present circumstances will continue forever, that today's situations (whether good or bad) will last indefinitely. We know this isn't true but we feel it so often to be true.

Examples abound of why our feelings are wrong. 

Remember the Cold War? It lasted for almost 50 years, it defined America and the world. If you grew up during that time (I remember the end of it) it seemed permanent and unwinnable -- until, very suddenly, it wasn't. 

Remember the original Law & Order? It was on TV for decades -- until it was cancelled.

Bill Cosby was a respected comedian, actor, author, activist, and cultural icon for 50 years -- and now he's a disgraced prisoner.

Queen Elizabeth II is 92 years old and has ruled the UK for 67 years -- but, one day, she won't be, and in the 1000+ years of the British monarchy, her reign will be but a minuscule part of it.

I remember as a kid when George H.W. Bush was Vice-President and President, it seemed liked he would be in power forever -- until a young Arkansas Governor changed that quite suddenly.

Heck, Game of Thrones has been on for almost a decade and but very soon will be over. And talk about something that show us the precariousness of power and dominance!

That's why it's so important not only to study history but to have a sense of history -- to see how there were once mighty rulers and empires and "influencers" who commanded huge swaths of the world and public who are now only footnotes; how people and things we took for granted as always existing and presumably existing -- like Notre Dame or the old World Trade Centers -- vanished in an instant.

You get the point -- what's here today, who's powerful today, who and what rules and commands our world, who rose yesterday will one day fall tomorrow. It's always been like this. It always will be.

Nothing lasts forever. 

Two totally different but fascinating examples from downtown NYC.

The first is the story of Mary Boone, once the hottest and most important art dealer in town. She knew everyone, sold the work of many famous artists, and hobnobbed with the powerful for 40 years.  She helped build and defined the downtown art scene. Now she's headed to jail for tax evasion, her business gone.

The second is a great story about the Old St. Patrick's Cathedral and its catacombs. This used to be the seat of Catholic power in NYC and one of the most powerful churches in the country. Many once-famous, once-powerful people are buried there. Now it's a tourist attraction but it's days of power and influence are long, long gone.

In NYC and the world, people and things rise and fall all the time. We shouldn't be surprised by it. Everything changes -- and understanding that makes us wiser.

June 14, 1995

Why am I doing a blog post about a particular date more than 30 years ago?

Because that's the day I graduated from high school.

The ceremony wasn't particularly memorable except that the lights in the theater at Alice Tully Hall were bright as hell, and Bill Cosby was actually there (his daughter was in my class but I didn't know her nor did I meet him, just saw him). 

Later that night I went to the Senior Party in Midtown and hung out, for the last time, with my schoolmates (in my school, no one cared about the prom, the Senior Party was The Thing). While we partied, I started talking with this girl who I barely knew and who was a year younger than me. She had gotten super-crazy-drunk and began talking to me non-stop. Then she started snuggling up to me, hugging me, all over me, it was really weird. This was not a regular occurence in the life of yours truly, most girls at that time in my life regarded my slightly less favorably that roadkill. At one point this girl took one of my hands and started kissing my fingers methodically, slurping on them.

Being a gentleman, and also a total loser who had no game, I did nothing. I might have been able to be a pig and taken advantage but I did not. I was a good boy. Then I went home -- alone.

Anyway, besides those lovely weird memories, I also recall that this was the same night when a big interview with Michael Jackson and his then-wife, Lisa Marie, daughter of Elvis Presley, was broadcast. I remember it was playing on TVs in the bar in the background although I ignored it (I literally had a girl on my shoulder!). This was the interview to prove that their love was real! I guess it turned out not to be and less than 15 years later, Michael would be dead.

Also, earlier that morning, Howard Stern did a show where he talked about the OJ trial, tattoos, air ventilation, and life in general.  

A lot has happened since that day 30 years and 6 weeks ago, both in my life and in the culture and world in general. But ... it's fascinating to remember what I was doing on that life changing day, and what was going on in the city and the culture and the world in general at the same time.

Oh, and as for that girl who slobbered on me? She ended up going to a great college, has a big time career, is happily married with a child, and is crushing life. 

And me? I'm doing pretty good too!

Interview: Lebeau of Le Blog

If you’re a pop culture junkie, then you probably have lots of varied, interesting, and odd questions about the movies, music, and TV you consume.

What happened to that great actress or actor? Was this movie a hit or a bomb? Did this movie win any big awards? Why was a sequel made to this – or not? Was this band a one-hit wonder?

That’s what makes Lebeau’s Le Blog so great – it’s a pop culture junkie’s dream, answering all these questions and lots, lots more. He takes popular culture and puts it into historical and social context, does deep dives into the careers of your favorite performers, and generally just has lots of fun telling us all about our favorite entertainment. His most popular feature is “What the Hell Happened to” where Lebeau reviews the ups and downs of the careers of actors and actresses that once burned bright, then dimmed. Another great one is “Nope Not a 1-Hit Wonder” which shows how impressive the careers of many so-called “one hit wonders” truly were.

It’s a fun, great blog and LeBeau was kind enough to answer Mr NYC’s questions about his blog and pop culture – and how #MeToo is changing both. He also tells us about some of his own personal favorite pop culture.

Briefly, tell us about Lebeau's Le Blog and what inspired its creation? Where did you get the cool name for it? 

I had been blogging for quite a while before I started Le Blog. It was something I fell into by accident. Even before I knew what a blog was, I maintained a website and contributed to other sites. Basically, it was an extension of my hobbies. I started my first blog to promote a project I was working on with some other guys. The project was my idea, but the blog wasn't. It was completely new territory for me at the time and I had no intention of continuing the blog after the project was over. That project caught the attention of a guy who was starting a comic book blog and he asked me to be a contributor. I said "why not?" and spent a few years writing about comic books for his site. As it turns out, the founder eventually left the blog and we contributors took it over. After I had my kids, my entertainment budget shrank ‘cause I had to pay for things like diapers and daycare. Comics books are an expensive hobby, but they have nothing on kids. Since I wasn't reading comic books any more, I really didn't have much to contribute to that site. So I thought about starting up my own blog to talk about my other interests. I played around with some names, but I really couldn't come up with anything I liked very much. I decided just to call it what it was. For readers who knew me from the sites I had contributed to, this was my blog. Part of that came from the fact I had no real plan for what the blog would be about. All I knew was that it was mine. If readers liked my writing, they could follow me over to Lebeau's Blog. I stuck the Le in the middle because I liked the sound of it. The repetition of the L's and B's just sounds funny to me. At the time, I had no intention of having contributor's so it made sense to me to stick my name on the thing. Looking back, the contributors have become such an important part of the site that I deemphasize "Lebeau". I really consider it to be "Le Blog" but I haven't completely dropped my name from the title because it is in the site's domain.

I love your features like "What Might Have Been", "Franchise Killers," and, of course, "What the Hell Happened?". How do you go about choosing what movies, franchises, and careers etc. to profile and how to compile them?

A lot of it is just a matter of what interests me. I figure if I find something interesting, there are other people out there who will share that interest. Late in the year, I start setting up a schedule for the next year. I go through and look at anniversaries of movies and that will inspire a lot of ideas. If a movie flopped five years ago, I'll leave myself a note that it might make a good Franchise Killer. But there also has to be a story. I need a hook or it's just another flop.

What are some of your favorite movies, franchises? Like any movie fan, my answer to that changes.

The movie I have probably watched more than any other is Jaws. I can watch the original Jaws over and over again even though I know it by heart. I'm not a big fan of sequels so I wouldn't say I am a fan of the Jaws franchise, but the original is something I keep going back to. Today, I don't think anything compares to Marvel's mega franchise. They are the envy of every other studio in town with good reason. Their success really can't be duplicated, but everyone is trying. I also have a fondness for the Bond franchise because it's the granddaddy of them all. Anyone who reads the site can see where my interests lie.

Who are some of your favorite actors/actresses?

Twenty years ago, I would have had an answer to this question. These days, movies are no longer star-driven like they used to be. There are actors and actresses I like, but no one who can sell me on a movie based on their name alone. I think any halfway decent actor can be good in the right role and the best actor can be awful if they are miscast. The best actors tend to be the supporting players whereas the movie stars get by on looks and charisma. With very few exceptions, I wish all of the WTHH subjects well. I am rooting for most of them to succeed with the exception of Steven Seagal.

The Bill Cosby/Harvey Weinstein, etc. revelations have certainly revealed a dark side to show business (even though many of us knew it was a sleazy business to begin with). Tell us your thoughts about it and how it's affected Lebeau's Le Blog? Has it affected your enjoyment of popular culture in general?

I think Weinstein himself was involved in several WTHH actress stories. I plan to spend time over the next year writing that into several articles now that it has been revealed. If you follow WTHH you know that the career span of your average actress is a lot shorter than it is for most actors. Partially, that's American sexism. Once an actress hits 40, the opportunities dry up. The #MeToo movement showed just how bad the problem is within the industry. All I can do is root for the good guys. I will support good projects and good people. I am disappointed in a lot of people who turned a blind eye to what was going on.

If I remember correctly, the actress Sean Young responded to your "What the Hell Happened" profile of her. Have you gotten a lot (or any other) responses from the people or fans that you profile? What's the some of the craziest feedback you've gotten, either from the industry or from fans?

Sean Young is the only actress who reached out directly regarding WTHH. We have had some interactions on Twitter. Mira Sorvino liked something I tweeted a while back. A reader named TMC has tweeted articles to other celebs some of whom objected to the mild profanity in the series title. I get that. We have had a few celebs drop by the site and comment on an article. Director Neil LaBute was downright chatty in the comments section of an old Movieline article. I have also had some people claiming to be friends of celebrities reach out to me. Someone offered to fly me out to Hollywood for a premiere if I would take down the WTHH article on an actor who apparently thought it was hurting his career. Another person claimed Val Kilmer knew about the site and was not amused. If that's true, my apologies to Mr. Kilmer and anyone else who takes offense. It's all meant to be in good fun.

Just curious: your blog has been viewed over 12.5 million times. Who makes up your (huge) fan base -- and have you ever given an interview before?

The majority of traffic on any given day is from Google searches. Most of them, sadly, do not stick around. I am always trying to build up a loyal base of readers. I try to make the place feel like a community as much as possible. I love it when people reach out. I want everyone to keep coming back. This is the first request I have had for an email interview. I did a guest spot on a podcast several years ago. I am not a very in-demand interview subject I guess.

What do you see as the future for Lebeau's Le Blog?

As you know, I recently moved the site to a self-hosted platform. This has been a whole new world for me. It's a grand experiment that will evolve over time. I have always tried new things and discarded what didn't work. I imagine I will keep on doing that. Some traditions will keep going, but change is the only constant. I am focusing on doing things to get readers more engaged. I think we're going to have a lot of fun.

Any last thoughts?

Thanks for reading. Hope you have as much fun blogging as I do. See ya around!

Thank's Lebeau!

Interview: Rachel Kramer Bussel, "Come Again"

One of the most popular posts of all time on Mr NYC is an interview that I did way back in 2007 -- the first year of this blog -- with Rachel Kramer Bussel, the sex writer and social observer. It got such a positive response that I thought it would be a good idea to check in with her again to see how her career and the world of sex writing has evolved. I was also interested in her opinion about such cultural phenomenon as "slut shaming" and women speaking out against the predatory behavior of powerful men.  

Rachel has also edited a new book of essays called Come Again that you should definitely check out.   

Still as sexy and prolific as ever, Rachel continues to publish articles (recently in The New York Times), blog, host events, write and edit books, and even teach classes. Rachel was kind enough to take time out of her busy schedule to give us another great interview. 

Since we last chatted in 2007, how has the world of sex writing changed or evolved? Has social media had an impact?

I think there are more venues where people are writing about sex, and sex is more accepted as a topic worthy of discussion alongside pop culture or news of the day. I can’t speak as much to print, but online, new sex columns seem to be thriving, everywhere from Vogue.com (http://www.vogue.com/contributor/karley-sciortino/) to Feministing (http://feministing.com/tag/fucking-with-feministing/), and sites like Fusion and Buzzfeed and countless others are doing innovative takes on it, rather than just sensationalism. I think the world is figuring out that sex isn’t just about what takes place in the bedroom, but that it impacts all aspects of our lives, and that it’s so much more complex than just “sex sells.” So many of our cultural assumptions about sex, gender, dating and relationships are being questioned and upended and we are making more space for people who perhaps don’t fit into an easy label or have fantasies or interests that might not be considered “mainstream.” I hope that we are moving away from the idea that there’s “normal sex” and then everything else. There’s not. Just because what you’re into is less common (or seems less common), doesn’t mean it’s not “normal,” and I think the proliferation of sex blogs, columns and articles is helping people realize that. Social media has made writers across the board more accessible to readers, for both better and worse. In terms of erotica, Fifty Shades of Grey not only made readers more aware of the erotica market, it opened up so many opportunities for writers, many of whom read Fifty Shades and were inspired to start picking up their own pens.

I see that you've moved to the suburbs (like me). Has that changed the perspective of your writing?

The main thing it’s done is give me more time and space to write, which have greatly improved my focus. When I lived in New York, I did way too much socializing at the expense of my career. I loved living in the city, but by the time I moved in 2013, I could tell that I would never accomplish the goals I’d set for myself if I continued to live there, because my FOMO would win out and instead of staying home, I’d be off to this or that event. Since I’ve lived in suburbia, I’ve published an ebook, Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays, started sex columns in Philadelphia City Paper (http://citypaper.net/blogs/lets-get-it-on/) and DAME (http://www.damemagazine.com/shameless-sex) and gotten published by the Washington Post and New York Times, so I think it’s safe to say suburbia and writing agree with me. What I don’t get as much of is talking to people on a daily basis; I’m largely alone when I’m working, as opposed to at a café or observing people on the subway, but most of my work happens via online sources, whether that’s editing anthologies or researching articles.

How would you define "slut-shaming" and the damage it does to people?

There’s so many shapes slut-shaming can take, from outright being gossiped about or bullied to more subtle ways. It can happen plenty in the dating world, and I don’t think it always has to be over-the-top and sinister to have an impact. When I was single, I remember several times where no one called me a slut, but it was made clear that my behavior was pretty much too slutty to consider dating me. It can be blatant, but also so subtle we don’t realize we’ve internalized those messages, whether it’s about how soon we have sex or how many people we have sex with or what kinds of sex we have, or even what we wear or how we talk about sex. It’s almost impossible for many girls and women to keep up with the “rules” we are implicitly and explicitly told to follow in order to not be “sluts.” I think the psychic damage is one of the most dangerous aspects, because it can prevent us from exploring sex free of judgment, even our own judgment of ourselves.

What's the best way for women (or anyone) to fight back against "slut shaming?" (As the father of a young daughter, this is something I'm afraid of).

This is a tough question, because sometimes you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I think age is also a factor, because once you’re an adult you have more autonomy over your life, but if you’re being slut shamed in junior high or high school, you’re probably seeing the people doing the slut shaming every day, both online and offline. I think finding a support network of people you can trust to talk about it, and figuring out what approach will make you the most comfortable and true to yourself. I also highly recommend checking out The UnSlut Project (http://www.unslutproject.com/), which Emily Lindin started as a way of sharing her own school dairies about being slut shamed, which has morphed into a community around the topic.

Do you feel that women are less afraid these days to speak out against the sexual misconduct of powerful men (i.e. Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Harvey Weinstein) and is this a new kind of feminism?

I definitely think there’s strength in numbers, especially with some of these high profile cases. Again, it’s probably much more challenging for a student to come forth with an allegation, whether that’s in middle school, high school or college, and trust that they will be believed and given a fair chance to tell their story and pursue charges, should they want to. I do think there’s been renewed feminist activism around the topics of sexual assault and sexual harassment, but we have a lot more work to do in terms of making sure these things don’t happen in the first place and giving women space to discuss how to proceed if it does happen. I was very disturbed to hear Katie Cappiello, author of the play SLUT and co-author of a book of the same name, tell me when I interviewed her for DAME (http://www.damemagazine.com/2015/02/12/does-word-slut-have-power-ruin-us), “We know so many boys who don’t see coercive sex as the same thing as sexual aggression or violence. So they don’t see a problem with forcing a drunk girl to have sex with them, but they would never rape them. That’s a problem; that right there is an indicator that we need to have deeper conversations.”

Tell us about your new book Come Again. 

Come Again is a collection of 24 sex toy themed erotica stories, and probably one of the most humorous erotica books I’ve ever edited, though still plenty hot. I wanted to make sure all the sex toys in the book were different, so readers got variety, and the authors came through big-time. So there are traditional sex toys such as vibrators and butt plugs and nipple clamps, as well as household items like ice and very inventive fictional toys, including a special bike, as well as a story told from the point of view of a vibrator. I was so impressed with the different ways toys play a role in the stories; some are very tender and loving, some playful, some down and dirty, some futuristic, all extremely creative. I had some expectations for the kinds of toys writers would cover, but the authors in the book went above and beyond my wildest dreams. You can learn more about it at comeagainbook.com and also read Q&As (http://www.comeagainbook.com/#!comegainqanda/c370) with many of the authors about their writing inspiration. We’re doing our first reading from the book in one of my favorite cities, Portland, Maine, the night of June 3^rd at restaurant LFK – stay tuned to the Come Again site or LFK’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/LFKportland) for details. I’m also tweeting @comeagainbook about the book itself and sex toy news and reviews.

Any plans for the future?

I’m editing the anthology Best Women’s Erotica 2016 for Cleis Press, which is open to women authors; I’m accepting submissions through June 1st and have the guidelines on my site (http://rachelkramerbussel.com/submissions.php). I’m teaching erotica writing online via LitReactor.com (https://litreactor.com/classes/between-the-sheets-with-rachel-kramer-bussel), a wonderful site I highly recommended for all writers—they host classes and post about writing and book news and have active message boards, and will also teach in-person classes June 2 at Nomia in Portland, Maine and September 11at CatalystCon West in Burbank – see my website (http://rachelkramerbussel.com/calendar.php) for details. Outside of erotica, I just had my first article published in The New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/03/fashion/oh-those-clever-librarians-and-their-bookface.html), and will continue to write about pretty much anything and everything that I’m interested in. I love (for the most part, when I don’t hate it!) that every day is different when it comes to my work—some days it’s writing, some interviewing people, some editing, some teaching, some walking around brainstorming story ideas. I post daily @raquelita on Twitter and post news and do giveaways in my newsletter, which you can sign up for at rachelkramerbussel.com.

Thanks Rachel! And I hope it doesn't take me another eight years to interview you again!